Two Rules to Live By

April 29, 2015May 7, 2015 | Robynn

Have you ever experienced a funk day that just wouldn’t quit? (Hand raised right here…)

Yep, that’s right, this Peace Coach has been on an extended funk day and I’m not sure when it will subside, but am hoping real soon.

So, in the mean time, what does someone on the Peace with Food journey do when they find them self in this predicament? For me, it’s reminding myself of the “Two Rules To Live By” poster I once saw. Rule #1: Don’t Quit and Rule #2: Refer to Rule #1.

And as I put one foot in front of the other I keep the faith.

So there you have it. Nothing profound. Nothing exciting. Just outlast the funk.

Because all funks have expiration dates, but faith never expires.

Live in the Moment

March 16, 2015 | Robynn Coates

The future starts today, not tomorrow.
~Pope John Paul II

It was story time at the local library. That is where our friendship began. It all started when Robynn came up to Lara and introduced herself…we spoke of things that many acquaintances would: our hobbies, kids, life, etc…

Fast forward two years. Our friendship had grown and, although it was more than surface level, not once had we shared our secret struggle with food.

Whether it was dieting, weight gain, feeling controlled by food, or ambivalence in knowing what to eat, for years we both experienced the same vicious cycle.

Although the degree to which we struggled was different, we shared the same battle. We certainly were not living in peace and we were tired of this scenario. We knew there had to be a better way. Bottom line we wanted to Live It: Live each day to the fullest, at peace, not obsessed with food, our bodies, or the scale. We wanted to savor life with all its highs, lows, and everything in-between.

One key component of peace with food and our Live It concept is contentment. Gaining contentment will finally allow you to make the best of your circumstances. Instead of always wanting to change them, you can use your circumstances to your advantage. With a Live It mindset you can at last enjoy your current place in life even if it’s not where you want to stay.

Where do you need to Live It? Is it buying clothes that fit and flatter? Is it being comfortable in your bathing suit because your kids want to hit the pool? Or maybe you have been postponing fun activities until you reach your goal weight. Whatever it is, don’t waste away the now. Instead, Live It today. After all, looking perfect in a bathing suit isn’t what’s most important. Reaching your goal will come, but there is no reason to put your life on hold in the meantime.

Are you tired of these insignificant factors controlling your life? Are they stealing the precious, limited time with those dearest to you? What are you waiting for? Waste no more. Peace with food is about embracing the present moment. Start investing in what matters most and begin Living It today!

Let Wisdom Do the Heavy Lifting

March 5, 2015March 6, 2015 | Robynn Coates

There’s a saying we have in Peace with Food regarding wisdom and it is this: Let wisdom do the heavy lifting.

Let’s face it. There are times we don’t think too clearly. We make rash decisions that we later regret. It’s as if, for a few fleeting seconds, we lose our minds and when we finally come to, it’s too late.

Like the time I was so close to reaching a goal weight. I was so close I could taste it and yet I blew it by going through the Krispy Kreme drive thru and buying a bunch of donuts. (I’m not even going to tell you how many “a bunch” is!) Why did I do that?!

Have you ever experienced that? If you’re like me, too many times to count.

That is, until I learned to let wisdom do the heavy lifting.

What exactly do I mean when I say, “Let wisdom do the heavy lifting”? Basically this: Do for yourself when you are strong what you cannot do for yourself when you are weak.

It is knowing myself, my point of weakness and temptation and then planning ahead to ensure I will come out victorious when faced with that situation.

For example, if I know that my weakness is buying chips and cookies when walking past those aisles in the grocery store, I use wisdom by making sure I avoid those aisles as much as possible. I map out ahead of time what I am going to do in those times of temptation. The advantage of doing this is that I use wisdom when I am strong rather than relying on my fickle willpower in the heat of the moment. It is in these non-tempting moments that I can best plan out my escape route in moments of temptation.

So if I get tripped up by some temptation or circumstance, it is best to plan ahead when my head is clear and I feel strong. Because like it or not, temptation is coming, but I can be prepared if I let wisdom do the heavy lifting.

Take-Home Message: Let wisdom do the heavy lifting by doing for yourself when you are strong what you cannot do when you are weak.

Peace with Myself

February 19, 2015February 19, 2015 | Robynn

Much of my life I spent not liking myself. I wouldn’t say that I hated myself, but there was always some aspect of myself I was trying to change. Have you ever had a remodeling project that just went on and on? I did. My remodeling project was me!

I tried to change everything from those things that I could change to those things that I couldn’t. (I always wished I was more funny and more articulate like some of my friends. Those are two qualities I really admire!) When it came to my overall peace level it was in the gutter. However, once Peace with Food came into the picture and I began living at peace, I soon realized that I could use those same principles to help me find peace with myself.

How about you? What is your peace level with yourself? If you were to rate yourself on a scale from 0-5 (5 being high and 0 being no peace at all) where would you fall? Do you like yourself? Do you accept yourself? Do you give yourself grace, knowing that you are a work in progress?

I have learned that having peace with myself is really important because when I wasn’t at peace with myself, I wasn’t at peace with others or the world around me.

It was a process that is continuing to this day and it looked something like this:

First, I had to understand that I am a masterpiece, uniquely created, a one-of a kind. I am Designed to be a “10”.

Secondly, I began to the process of knowing myself. This involved taking the time to find out about my personality, strengths, weaknesses, preferences, and tendencies.

Third, once I began accepting myself as is, it was then time to begin working on my expectations of myself. Too often my expectations were jaded and unrealistic. At times I had an all-or-nothing mindset and other times I didn’t expect enough of myself.

I overcame these unrealistic expectations by creating Optimal Zones in my life – boundary lines that not only include giving myself grace, but also boundary lines that include realistic expectations. This zone consists of an acceptable range – the minimum requirement – all the way up to the ideal standard. As long as I hit the acceptable range I know I am in the ballpark. It may not be my ideal and I may strive to do better the next time around, but I know that I at least hit the Optimal Zone.

And finally, I began to follow peace and the best way for me to follow peace was to rate my peace on a regular basis and then choose the options that gave me the greatest #peace.

Here’s the condensed version:

Understand and believe that I am a masterpiece.
Know myself.
Begin creating realistic expectations by determining my Optimal Zones.
Follow peace.

This is the path I followed to having peace with myself. I hope it helps you in your journey to peace with yourself.

Take-Home Message: We can have peace with our self.

The Difference Between Love It and Like It Foods

February 10, 2015February 10, 2015 | Lara

Close your eyes. Picture a special occasion where you are gathering with your closest friends and family. You are gathering for a feast. You knock on the front door, walk through the foyer, and spot the table. It is beautifully set with mouthwatering dishes of your favorite foods. As you step closer to get a better look, your eyes skim the array of your most desired indulgences. So what are they exactly? Could you list all of your favorite foods that were on that table?

Figuring out what foods you really love versus only like will be helpful so you don’t end up wasting your calories on foods that won’t get the appreciation they deserve. Peace with Food allows you to eat what you want, as long as it gives you peace, and you’ll find the foods that give you the most peace are either your absolute favorites or are healthy and nutritious for your body. Foods that give you peace usually aren’t just mediocre to the taste buds and/or to your overall health (at least they aren’t for us!).

If we laid twenty candy bars out in front of you, and asked you to record your favorite, it might be too hard to choose just one. Why? Because they all look so good! As a result, you may be tempted to write down (and eat) several of them! So how do you figure out if you really like it or love it? Finding this love-it list can be hard for some people because we think we love them all. But at the heart of our desires we really only love certain dishes. And when we take the time to discover these love-it dishes we can train our mind to block out the cravings for all the other like-it items on our list.

Another thing to consider is the temperature of the food you are eating or the environment in which you are eating. For example, I love pizza when it is hot, but if it is room temperature I only like it. When it is Christmastime I love hot chocolate but any other time of year I only like it. I have learned that I don’t even bother eating pizza unless it is warmed up to the temperature I prefer and I only keep hot chocolate on hand during the month of December. Don’t limit yourself to only the foods themselves. Consider all angles before you decide how you truly feel about it.

And instead of walking to your pantry or fridge to try and figure out what sounds good, really think about past experiences and foods that you really enjoyed and loved. We usually get different results when we are presented with too many options, so if certain favorite foods don’t come to mind initially, you may want to think twice about eating them. If you are anything like us, you are probably just eating some foods because it is “there” and easily available, not because you actually love them 😉

Take-Home Message: Make your calories count by finding foods you either LOVE or provide nutrition for your body.

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Boundaries Versus Rules

February 5, 2015February 5, 2015 | Robynn

We’ve said that we don’t like rules when it comes to weight loss. Rules regarding what to eat, how to exercise, and the scale. But just because we don’t like rules doesn’t mean we don’t have boundaries. We do.

Maybe you’re wondering what the difference is between a rule and a boundary. Here’s our definition of the two:

Rules are dictated by others (or ourselves) due to preference or the way one thinks something should be done.

Boundaries, on the other hand are predetermined, based on your strengths, weaknesses and circumstances.

Your boundaries regarding how you eat, exercise, and approach the scale and your body are pre-set, just like a piece of property you purchase. You don’t get to determine where the boundary lines are. Instead, you just find out where the boundaries are so that you can stay within them. The same holds true for you regarding Peace with Food.

Your boundary lines are predetermined by your strengths, your weaknesses, your vulnerabilities, and your tendencies. Once you know yourself in these categories and use wisdom, you will see your boundary lines very clearly, drawn up for you right before your very eyes.

For example, I know that having bag fulls of chips and packages of cookies and pastries in my pantry would lead to temptation, so I just choose not to have them in my house. If there is ever an occasion for chips such as a BBQ, I am not against having them, but once that BBQ is over, I don’t want them hanging around.

There are other snacks I like a lot, such as vanilla ice-cream but that don’t tempt me. Because I am not tempted to indulge in it, having it in the freezer is within my boundaries.

I also know that if don’t allow myself to indulge every now and again, I am setting myself up for disaster. So my boundaries include opportunities to indulge and enjoy food on special occasions, or when I am feeling the need. I am not talking about a total binge. That never gives me peace and always leaves me feeling free.

Do you see how my temptations and tendencies determined the boundaries for me? And you can do the same. It all comes back to knowing yourself. Once you do you will find that your boundaries are very clear. Stay within those boundaries and they will guide you to peace.

Take home message: Determine your boundaries and then make plans to stay within them.

Business As Usual

February 1, 2015January 31, 2015 | Robynn Coates

Whew!! You made it through the 30-Day Peace with Food Challenge. Maybe you’re unsure what to do next.

This reminds me of all those times I set a goal, reached it, and then felt vague and ambiguous. Somehow I had thought that just by reaching the goal all my problems would be solved – that it would be the end of the discussion and all of life’s mysteries (regarding my goal) solved. But that’s not how it played out at all. I found myself sitting at a crossroads trying to figure out which way to go. And as I did, I realized that life went on and so too must I.

But how?

By taking the Business as Usual approach. In other words, by just continuing to do what I had been doing, all along, to reach my goal in the first place.

In the case of the 30-Day Peace with Food Challenge that would mean continually following peace by rating my levels of peace in the areas of food, weight, body, and the funk.

That’s what Business As Usual is all about. Just doing the same things that brought you the peace in the first place. Nothing real exciting. Nothing real profound. Just . . .

Business as Usual.

Take-Home Message: Continue on by using the Business as Usual approach.

BONUS DAY 31- Peace Coaches

January 31, 2015January 31, 2015 | Robynn Coates

So, here you are. You’ve completed the 30-Day Peace with Food Challenge. You have a buddy to take the journey with and maybe even a posse, but still you have your doubts. Will it stick? Can you do it? Will Peace with Food even work for you?

If that describes you, relax. There is one more very important source of support we need to tell you about and it is us, your Peace Coaches.

That’s right. We are your Peace Coaches and we are here for you.

We’ll help you navigate the choppy waters that you’ll no doubt encounter (we all do) and help you find your customized lifestyle that will give you peace. But it will require patience.

And we know how hard that can be.

When we gave up the artificial props of weight loss (aka a diet) it was scary. There were times we wanted to turn back for the quick fix, but we had made a promise and we were committed to see it through.

You will make it through too. If you don’t quit. And do you want to know the really exciting part? This is actually the best part of all – as you begin to climb up the peace scale you will become a Peace Coach yourself.

Now don’t panic. Being a Peace Coach isn’t difficult. It simply means you help others in whatever way feels most comfortable to you. Maybe for you that will be getting a posse together or it may be something simple like just encouraging someone to keep going. This is how you Pay it Forward.

So as you see your #PEACE climb, CeLeBraTe, but then begin looking for someone you can help coach to live with greater levels of peace. You can make a difference in someone’s life. Welcome to the team, Peace Coach.

Could you do us a HUGE favor? And give us your feedback on the 30-Day challenge? Please take the quick survey by clicking here.

Your Peace Coaches,

Take-Home Message:

As soon as you move up the peace scale you become a Peace Coach. That is how you Pay it Forward.

DAY 30- Recap The 30-Day PWF Challenge

January 30, 2015January 30, 2015 | Robynn Coates

Tomorrow is Bonus Day so make sure you check in as we will be giving you one more very important item in Peace with Food!

Congratulations! You have almost completed the 30-Day Challenge! We are so proud of you and hope that you will continue pursuing peace, not just with food, but in every other area of your life.

Here is a summary of the posts from the 30-Day PWF Challenge:

-Days 1-4 – Introduction.
-Days 5-11 – Week of Food.
-Days 12-18 – Week of Body Image & the Scale.
-Days 19-25 – Week of Exercise.
-Days 26-29 – Week of Dealing with the Funk.

Could you do us a HUGE favor and give us your feedback on the 30-Day challenge? Please take the quick survey by clicking here.

Throughout this challenge we had you rate your peace in these areas and once again we will have you rate your #peace for one last time.

Posse Discussion:
In regards to food, what is your level #peace?

In regards to body image & the scale, what is your level #peace?

In regards to exercise, what is your level #peace?

In regards to dealing with the funk, what is your level #peace?

Compare your #peace in each area with the numbers you recorded in your notebook (Days #1, 12, 19,& 26). Discuss with your posse the changes in your #peace numbers over the past 30 days. Did they go up? Go down?

Although our 30-Day PWF is finished, there is one more very important piece to the puzzle that we will be sharing tomorrow, so stay tuned! You won’t want to miss it!!