Why Diets Don’t Work: Reason #2

November 29, 2014January 10, 2015 | Robynn Coates

Reason #2: Making a number on the scale the center of your universe is a fruitless endeavor.

As kids, we can become very attached to our favorite toy, blanket, or stuffed animal. It is as if these beloved items have a magical power over us, a force that is so powerful it can stir up the fiercest beast in the smallest person. Hide a kid’s blankie or stuffed animal right before bedtime and you can witness this phenomenon first hand. It is meltdown on the spot. Who knew these items could have such a powerful hold on such a young soul?

As adults, we may graduate from these childhood items but then replace them with other security blankets. This differs for everyone. It may be money, achievement, position. . . but for some of us, our magic blankie is a number in our head of our dream weight. It is the answer to all our problems, the center of the universe.

And even if we do reach that number (which many never do) there still remains a void. That’s because a number on the scale was never meant to satisfy your soul. But peace, well yes, peace has the power to do exactly that!

Now, that’s not to say you can’t have a goal number you would like to weigh. There’s nothing wrong with that. In fact, we encourage you to know what weight range you feel best in and set goals to get there, but expecting a number to “complete you” is a fruitless endeavor.

How do we know this? Because we’ve been there a hundred times. We went on a diet and reached our goal weight, but instead of experiencing excitement and joy, we were jolted with disappointment and disillusions. Our so-called magic number didn’t produce the peace we had expected.

But when Peace with Food came into focus that all changed. That’s because a number on the scale was no longer the number we obsessed over. Instead, we were inspired and motivated by a number that trumps all other numbers: #PEACE. Now, we ask ourselves this: On a scale from one to five, how much peace do I have in regards to my eating and body?

It no longer matters what the scale says. If the number on our peace-meter is any lower than a four, we know we have to make adjustments so our number and happiness is better next time.

What number would appear if you were weighing in on your peace in the area of eating and your body? This is the number that you have control over. Consider changing your focus from a number on the scale to the number on your peace. We think when you do, you’ll be pleasantly surprised to see that your goal for the scale will eventually catch up.

Take-Home Message:

The number that trumps all numbers is the number on your peace. One to five, how peaceful are you in your eating and in your body? It doesn’t matter what the scale says, if the number on your peace is any lower than a four, it is time to make adjustments.

Why Diets Don’t Work: Reason #1

November 25, 2014January 10, 2015 | Robynn Coates

Reason #1: Diets use a cookie-cutter approach.

At Christmas season one of our favorite activities is making sugar cookies with our kids – the kind you make with cookie cutters. We just love it!

And although this approach works wonderfully when you’re whipping out dozens of cookies, when talking about a diet, the cookie-cutter approach only proves to be a flop.

That is one thing we absolutely love about Peace with Food. It discards this cookie-cutter formula and instead encourages a custom-fit plan for each individual. Imagine that, a tailored plan, customized specifically for you! (Which, by the way, takes into account your preferences and helps you work with them leaving you feeling satisfied and at peace rather than deprive you of them.)

It is really similar to everything else in life. Think about it. How do you raise your kids? How do you spend your money? How do you handle your relationships? Is there any aspect of your life in which you do every thing exactly like anyone else, even your closest friends and confidants?

Similar? Maybe. Exactly alike? Impossible. That’s because you are the only one living with your life, circumstances, preferences, and propensities. You are unique. Embrace it!!

What might work marvelously for one may be a totally dud for another. That’s okay. That just gives us the freedom to be our selves.

So, if you are tired of trying to fit into someone else’s mold, let it go. Find what works for you and then go with it. Life is too short to live by someone else’s formula.

Take-Home Message:

You are a one-of-a-kind masterpiece! Living at Peace with Food will help you find your custom-fit plan, tailored specifically for you!

10 Reasons Why Peace With Food Works and Diets Don’t

November 24, 2014January 10, 2015 | Robynn Coates

We have heard it said that you can become an expert in your field if you practice it long enough and hard enough.

Bam!

That makes us experts at discovering that diets don’t work. Our guess is that many of you reading this are also experts in this arena as you too have spent years proving from personal experience that diets and rules just don’t work!

Maybe you’ve read our stories and are thinking that this Peace with Food thing sounds pretty good. At least you would like to hear more. Maybe you even want to give it a try. What’s the next step?

First things first.

When we started off on our quest for peace in the area of eating (as well as peace with our body and our life in general) we came to the realization that Peace with Food is worlds apart from diets.

So, if you want to have Peace with Food you will need a paradigm shift, a totally revamping of the way you approach eating, weight loss, and your body.

As we look back at the lessons we have learned, we want to share with you what we think are the main differences that we have found between Peace with Food and the typical diet. We are sure there are more, but this is a good start:

(click on each underlined “reason” to read more about each)

Reason #1: There is no cookie-cutter approach in Peace with Food.

Reason #2: A number on the scale is no longer the center of your universe in Peace with Food.

Reason #3: Peace with Food is sustainable – for life.

Reason #4: Peace with Food relies on skills, diets on willpower.

Reason #5:Peace with Food recognizes that there are more factors involved in your happiness and health than just the physical aspect.

Reason #6: Peace with Food is principle based whereas diets are rules based.

Reason #7 & 8: Peace with Food is transferable to the rest of your life, diets are not. Peace with Food allows you to enjoy life starting today, not the distant future.

Reason #9: Peace with Food brings you freedom, diets leave you deeper in the hole.

Reason #10: Peace with Food follows peace, diets a plan.

We will be writing about each of these 10 characteristics in more detail in the upcoming posts so stay tuned. But for now, we’ll leave you with the Take-Home Message:

Peace with Food will require a paradigm shift, a revamping of the way you approach eating, weight loss, and your body.

How to Make It Through the Thanksgiving Feast – Unscathed

November 21, 2014January 10, 2015 | Robynn Coates

Do the holidays stress you out in the area of eating? Do you feel panic set in with Thanksgiving just around the corner?

If that describes you, take a deep breath, relax, and imagine making it through the holidays relaxed and calm, thankful for the many blessings you have been given rather than being focused on the mistakes you made and the pounds you gained.

You can make it through the holidays unscathed. How? Here’s how we plan to do just that.

Sure, we are going to do everything on the front end to set our selves up for success. We’ll have a plan – one that includes enjoying (in moderation) our favorite dishes of sweet potatoes with brown sugar & pecans, dressing, green bean casserole, and of course, pumpkin pie. Then we will try to cut out any unnecessary calories that we might consume just because those foods are available – you know, those tempting appetizers and sweets that sit out hours before and after the feast. And we will even probably try to get in a run or two if at all possible.

These are just a few of the strategies we will employ to help us stay on course.

And although these things are all good, in our opinion, they aren’t the primary factor ensuring victory. We think there is something even better to guarantee success during these challenging eating occasions and it is this:

Reframe your definition of failure.

Remember that famous Thomas Edison quote that says, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

Would you take the Thomas Edison approach this Thanksgiving and be your own scientist – experimenting with what works and what doesn’t regarding Peace with Food?

Regardless of whether or not we stick to our plan, (and let’s all admit it, there are times where the best-laid plans get tossed to the wayside in the heat of the moment) we can learn what works and what doesn’t and then do it better next time.

Sure, we will do our best to follow peace this Thanksgiving and be wise, but if things don’t go exactly as we had planned, we will come out with data regarding what worked and what didn’t.

And in our mind, that is not failure, it is just one step further down the path of Peace with Food.

Have a Happy (And Peaceful) Thanksgiving!!

Take-Home Message:

Take the Thomas Edison approach and see every mistake not as a failure, but just one more way that doesn’t work. When you make failure impossible you can move on wiser and smarter!

This Incredible Thing Called Peace With Food

November 20, 2014January 10, 2015 | Robynn Coates

I was walking down the aisles of my grocery store today just minding my own business. My thoughts were on the next errands I had to run, trying to estimate the time it would take for each and determine if I would be able to complete them before my 1:00 p.m. appointment.

As I pushed my cart, I was met with the blitz of holiday food conveniently placed where it could not be missed. There, in the center aisle, were the ingredients for your favorite Thanksgiving feast. Green bean casserole with French fried onions, dressing, pumpkin pie, cookie mixes, Velveeta cheese with RO*TEL, You name it, it was probably there. And all I could do was send up a whisper of “thanks”.

For a brief moment I was reminded of my dieting days, the days before I had this incredible thing called Peace with Food. Back then, I couldn’t go to the grocery store during the holidays without facing one of two options:

Option 1 – Go off my diet and indulge which would inevitably result in me spiraling out of control.
Option 2 – Resist the incredible urge to buy these “off-limit” tempting foods. The result of this option? Resent my diet for making me feel deprived which would eventually cause me to throw off all restraint, indulge, and spiral out of control.

Two different options. The same end result.

But thankfully, that was before Peace with Food. Now I am no longer tormented with the grocery store or with the foods frequently flashed before us during the holidays. That is because I now know that I can have whatever I want, just maybe not as much as I want. And with this freedom to enjoy the foods I love, surprisingly I really don’t desire them that much and when I do, I now know how to enjoy them in moderation and then move on, feeling content and satisfied.

Yes, I am thankful for many things this Thanksgiving and Peace with Food is definitely one of them.

Take-Home Message:

With Peace with Food, you have the freedom to enjoy the foods you love in moderation and then move on feeling content and satisfied.

Lara’s Story

November 18, 2014November 22, 2014 | Lara

As Robynn said, we all have a different story which is compiled of dreams, hopes and fears. Each of us is unique, making every individual like no other…which brings you to my story…

I don’t remember how much I weighed back in late elementary school, but the way my body felt and looked is still vivid in my mind. I remember countless times staring at my reflection in the mirror and telling myself in disgust that I was–(I hate to use this word but this is how I “felt”)– fat. It pains me to this day even recalling that time in my life, because the ache it caused me was deep. I was unhappy and felt trapped in my own body.

When I hit eighth grade, I became more active in sports and hit a growth spurt. The combination of those two things allowed me to thin down, but that didn’t mean my eating habits improved. I was lucky enough to stay thin throughout high school due to being tall and active, but deep down I never had peace with food and the memories of my childhood food struggle continued to haunt me.

I gained some weight when I went to college and remember trying to diet–here and there–to shed a few quick pounds. Everyone may have looked at me and thought I was thin, but I had them fooled in regards to how I felt. Food, and my obsession to have an “ideal” body, secretly controlled my life. As a college freshman I remember buying a huge bag of kettle corn from Sam’s Club. I told myself I could eat only popcorn and water, in hopes to lose five pounds. I would even pass up eating dinner with my friends because I had promised myself to stick with my plan—only to throw my hands up in defeat a week later after a couple pound gain. Not to mention, I missed out on those fun outings I had passed up.

The saga continued after college and into my marriage. I had such a love/hate relationship with food. Loved how it tasted but hated how it made me feel after eating too much of it and the control it had over my life. I would frantically read any new diet fad on a magazine–in hopes to put an end to this madness–but it wasn’t until years later that I found the answer.

When I met Robynn, and our friendship grew, we began to openly discuss our secret struggles with food. It wasn’t until then that I realized I wasn’t alone. And the more we talked about our frustrations, the more we were determined to stop the food insanity that had taken over our lives.

That is where our peace with food journey began. And since it would be too difficult to try and share our experiences all in one post, we will share it in smaller segments as we continue to blog. We hope you’ll stay with us and invite others to join the discussion as we share how to live in PEACE with food.

More to come!

This is My Story . . .

November 17, 2014January 10, 2015 | Robynn

We all have a story that defines who we are.

In this story are woven the threads of our dreams, hopes, fears, disappointments, circumstances, and our past – uniquely making us a one-of-a-kind masterpiece.

Part of my story includes my struggle with food beginning in high school. I vividly remember weighing in at 98 lbs. during gymnastics in junior high. But by the end of my sophomore year of high school I was up to 143 lbs – a whopping 45-lb. weight gain on my 5’4 medium size frame. I had to do something and I had to do it fast!

That was when I began my career of dieting.

Being athletic and participating in a whole lot of sports and activities allowed me to get back down to a normal weight but I was never quite satisfied with my body. This led to the perpetual chase of the “ideal weight” carrot. Know what I’m talking about? It is crazy, but that is how I lived for so many years of my life.

It was my normal, my landscape.

But I can actually say that it all changed when I began living with peace with food. That is not to say I don’t have an ideal weight, because I do, but this time it is more of an optimal weight range than an unrealistic all-time-low number. No more of this all-or-nothing mindset. Enough of the obsession!

How did I get this peace? Here it is in a nutshell. I began believing that I could do it and I changed the way I thought about my situation. That was step one. It was a big step that took me years. But even in believing that I could have peace with food (and peace with my body) didn’t result in it magically appearing. After years of failed attempts, saying I was frustrated with my situation is putting it mildly. I needed practical steps to take and the skills to carry it out. I needed to find the answer to my dilemma, the combination to the lock. Enter Peace with Food.

As I began writing on this blog I really had to ask myself, “What is my purpose for this blog? Is it to inspire, motivate, entertain?” I think it can be all of these, but more than that, I feel a calling to help others in their journey to Peace with Food. That’s my mission, my assignment – to share with others what I have learned in the decades I’ve spent struggling with food and help them experience peace and freedom.

When I was in college, my Biochem instructor would always say in his Indian accent, “Take-home-message.” We knew that when he uttered these three choppy words we needed to take note because the point he was about to make was of utmost importance. That is what Lara and I hope to leave in every post. A take-home message. A nugget that will help you live at greater Peace with Food.

So here’s the Take-Home Message:

No matter what your story is, you can have Peace with Food. No matter what your beginning is, you can rewrite the end.

P. S. Click here for Lara’s Story. . .

What Exactly Is Peace with Food?

November 15, 2014January 10, 2015 | Robynn Coates

When defining Peace with Food, we think painting a picture may be a better strategy, so here goes:

Peace with Food is . . .

feeling young, regardless how old you are.
eating birthday cake at your kid’s birthday party. (And not feeling guilty about it.)
attending your class reunion – and doing so in confidence.
no longer having food torment you.

Peace with Food is all these things and more. A life free from the obsession of food.

It doesn’t matter if you are the overweight person who fantasizes about it or the fit person who is consumed with counting it (calories, points, units, etc), if it doesn’t give you peace, then know there is a better way.

Peace with Food helped us to reclaim our life from this insane cycle. Now it’s your turn. What does Peace with Food look like to you?

Posse Discussion:

1.) Does food torment you? If so, how?
2.) What does Peace with Food look like to you?

Aha! Peace With Food!!

November 5, 2014January 10, 2015 | Robynn Coates

It was just your ordinary sultry summer night in Kansas, or so we thought. . .

As we sat on the back porch watching our kids catch lightning bugs, little did we know that we were about to embark upon the solution to our greatest struggle and frustration – peace with food and peace with our bodies.

For whatever reason, on this evening we openly shared our challenges with food and our bodies, and as we did, we realized that our stories weren’t all that different. Empowered with the knowledge that we weren’t alone, we were determined to find what we dubbed Peace with Food.

As we set out on this adventure we were committed to a few things:

We would follow peace, not diets and rules.
We would experiment to see what worked best for us individually.
We would enjoy our life along the way.
We would not rest until we had found Peace with Food.

That journey began over three years ago and today, well, we can say we found it. We found Peace with Food.

What exactly is Peace with Food? That is the purpose for this blog – to share with you our revelation and what we have discovered. It has been a great journey so far and with every mile marker we experience greater levels of peace.

Are you looking for Peace with Food (and your body)? Or maybe you know someone who is. If peace has eluded you, be assured, you can have it. You can experience your “Aha” moment, and live at Peace with Food.

Posse Discussion:

1.) Do you believe that Peace with Food is possible for you?
2.) Do you have someone you can share your struggle with?