Let Wisdom Do the Heavy Lifting

March 5, 2015March 6, 2015 | Robynn Coates

There’s a saying we have in Peace with Food regarding wisdom and it is this: Let wisdom do the heavy lifting.

Let’s face it. There are times we don’t think too clearly. We make rash decisions that we later regret. It’s as if, for a few fleeting seconds, we lose our minds and when we finally come to, it’s too late.

Like the time I was so close to reaching a goal weight. I was so close I could taste it and yet I blew it by going through the Krispy Kreme drive thru and buying a bunch of donuts. (I’m not even going to tell you how many “a bunch” is!) Why did I do that?!

Have you ever experienced that? If you’re like me, too many times to count.

That is, until I learned to let wisdom do the heavy lifting.

What exactly do I mean when I say, “Let wisdom do the heavy lifting”? Basically this: Do for yourself when you are strong what you cannot do for yourself when you are weak.

It is knowing myself, my point of weakness and temptation and then planning ahead to ensure I will come out victorious when faced with that situation.

For example, if I know that my weakness is buying chips and cookies when walking past those aisles in the grocery store, I use wisdom by making sure I avoid those aisles as much as possible. I map out ahead of time what I am going to do in those times of temptation. The advantage of doing this is that I use wisdom when I am strong rather than relying on my fickle willpower in the heat of the moment. It is in these non-tempting moments that I can best plan out my escape route in moments of temptation.

So if I get tripped up by some temptation or circumstance, it is best to plan ahead when my head is clear and I feel strong. Because like it or not, temptation is coming, but I can be prepared if I let wisdom do the heavy lifting.

Take-Home Message: Let wisdom do the heavy lifting by doing for yourself when you are strong what you cannot do when you are weak.

Optimal Zone

February 26, 2015February 5, 2015 | Robynn Coates

On our Peace with Food journey we have had many “Aha” moments, to be sure, and this is definitely one of them. We call it our Optimal Zone epiphany. This revelation has totally changed the way we approach goal setting, along with the expectations we place on people, circumstances, and ourselves.

Before PWF we were really all-or-nothing type of gals. We saw only one way of doing things and there was only ONE right answer. Never two, and for sure not three or four. But on our PWF journey we slowly began to learn that this mindset only stole our peace. We were setting our goals high. Really, really high and rarely ever achieving those goals. The result: Frustration with a capital “F”.

What did we need? Not a new goal, just a new perspective.

Enter the Optimal Zone.

The Optimal Zone is basically a zone that includes your acceptable level of satisfaction, in any area of life, all the way up to your ideal level of satisfaction in that area. If you applied the Optimal Zone to your weight, instead of just choosing one number that is ideal, you would include a range, say 125-132. Sure, 125 lbs. may be your dream weight, but surely there is a zone where you feel good, even if it isn’t your ideal. Having an Optimal Zone allows you to experience victory, even if you don’t hit the mark perfectly each time.

Determining our Optimal Zone has helped ground us even when things don’t go perfectly. It takes off the pressure and let’s us focus on living, not trying to live up to a certain standard that just so happens to be impossible to reach on a consistent basis.

A bonus of the Optimal Zone is that it is relevant to every area of our lives. We all have expectations, many of those are unrealistic. Whether it be in relationships, our job, our finances, you name it. When you determine your Optimal Zone in each area you can then give yourself and others a break and enjoy the ride instead of being stressed by it.

Go ahead and set your goals high, but then have an acceptable range. Maybe reading to your child for 30 minutes every day isn’t always possible, but reading a story to them and tucking them in to bed might be more attainable day in and day out.

Assess your expectations, especially the ones where you feel disappointed or discouraged and determine what the Optimal Zone might be for each of them. We think that when you begin to live in these zones, you’ll be pleasantly surprised to see that the pressure level goes down and the enjoyment and peace level goes up.

Take-Home Message: Create Optimal Zones in your life by defining the acceptable level in each area all the way up to the ideal level.

Peace with Myself

February 19, 2015February 19, 2015 | Robynn

Much of my life I spent not liking myself. I wouldn’t say that I hated myself, but there was always some aspect of myself I was trying to change. Have you ever had a remodeling project that just went on and on? I did. My remodeling project was me!

I tried to change everything from those things that I could change to those things that I couldn’t. (I always wished I was more funny and more articulate like some of my friends. Those are two qualities I really admire!) When it came to my overall peace level it was in the gutter. However, once Peace with Food came into the picture and I began living at peace, I soon realized that I could use those same principles to help me find peace with myself.

How about you? What is your peace level with yourself? If you were to rate yourself on a scale from 0-5 (5 being high and 0 being no peace at all) where would you fall? Do you like yourself? Do you accept yourself? Do you give yourself grace, knowing that you are a work in progress?

I have learned that having peace with myself is really important because when I wasn’t at peace with myself, I wasn’t at peace with others or the world around me.

It was a process that is continuing to this day and it looked something like this:

First, I had to understand that I am a masterpiece, uniquely created, a one-of a kind. I am Designed to be a “10”.

Secondly, I began to the process of knowing myself. This involved taking the time to find out about my personality, strengths, weaknesses, preferences, and tendencies.

Third, once I began accepting myself as is, it was then time to begin working on my expectations of myself. Too often my expectations were jaded and unrealistic. At times I had an all-or-nothing mindset and other times I didn’t expect enough of myself.

I overcame these unrealistic expectations by creating Optimal Zones in my life – boundary lines that not only include giving myself grace, but also boundary lines that include realistic expectations. This zone consists of an acceptable range – the minimum requirement – all the way up to the ideal standard. As long as I hit the acceptable range I know I am in the ballpark. It may not be my ideal and I may strive to do better the next time around, but I know that I at least hit the Optimal Zone.

And finally, I began to follow peace and the best way for me to follow peace was to rate my peace on a regular basis and then choose the options that gave me the greatest #peace.

Here’s the condensed version:

Understand and believe that I am a masterpiece.
Know myself.
Begin creating realistic expectations by determining my Optimal Zones.
Follow peace.

This is the path I followed to having peace with myself. I hope it helps you in your journey to peace with yourself.

Take-Home Message: We can have peace with our self.

Making it Through Valentine’s Day

February 12, 2015February 11, 2015 | Robynn

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, and although Valentine’s may not pose the same kind of weight-maintenance hazards that the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays do, they still can be tempting, especially if you love chocolate or if you like to celebrate this special day in some way that includes food.

So, for this reason, I thought I would share with you my Valentine’s Day policy. Although I wouldn’t consider V-Day a big temptation, there are a few things that could trip me up if I wasn’t careful. For starters, Dove Chocolates wrapped up in that enticing pink and silver wrapping. Yum! Even though I am not a big chocolate lover, these were the only sweets that sounded good during my pregnancy with my oldest daughter. I now eat them every February for memories sake.

Another temptation for me is candy from my kid’s Valentine’s Day party. Yes, I am one of those parents who likes to help myself to their candy windfall. I love candy!

And lastly, my daughter’s birthday party complete with the meal of her choice and her double layer chocolate birthday cake. But out of all those, I think the thing most challenging about this holiday is the lingering candy that can stick around for days if I let it.

Hence, the reason I created my own Valentine’s Policy:

I call it my 24-hour policy.

Here it is: Candy can only be in my house for 24 hours. Then it has to take a hike. Whether that be to give it away, or throw it away, it has to go. (By the way, this policy also works great for Halloween!)

So, yes, I enjoy the day with all the special events that accompany it, but once that 24-hour period passes, it is time to get back to normal eating.

Once you know your boundaries, you can also create your own Valentine’s Day policy. Or Thanksgiving Day policy. Or 4th of July Party policy . . . Or any other event that proves to be an eating challenge.

So don’t let these special days and events steal your peace or your enjoyment. Create your own policies based on your boundaries! And have a wonderful Valentine’s Day!!

Take Home Message: Create your own policies based on your boundaries!

Boundaries Versus Rules

February 5, 2015February 5, 2015 | Robynn

We’ve said that we don’t like rules when it comes to weight loss. Rules regarding what to eat, how to exercise, and the scale. But just because we don’t like rules doesn’t mean we don’t have boundaries. We do.

Maybe you’re wondering what the difference is between a rule and a boundary. Here’s our definition of the two:

Rules are dictated by others (or ourselves) due to preference or the way one thinks something should be done.

Boundaries, on the other hand are predetermined, based on your strengths, weaknesses and circumstances.

Your boundaries regarding how you eat, exercise, and approach the scale and your body are pre-set, just like a piece of property you purchase. You don’t get to determine where the boundary lines are. Instead, you just find out where the boundaries are so that you can stay within them. The same holds true for you regarding Peace with Food.

Your boundary lines are predetermined by your strengths, your weaknesses, your vulnerabilities, and your tendencies. Once you know yourself in these categories and use wisdom, you will see your boundary lines very clearly, drawn up for you right before your very eyes.

For example, I know that having bag fulls of chips and packages of cookies and pastries in my pantry would lead to temptation, so I just choose not to have them in my house. If there is ever an occasion for chips such as a BBQ, I am not against having them, but once that BBQ is over, I don’t want them hanging around.

There are other snacks I like a lot, such as vanilla ice-cream but that don’t tempt me. Because I am not tempted to indulge in it, having it in the freezer is within my boundaries.

I also know that if don’t allow myself to indulge every now and again, I am setting myself up for disaster. So my boundaries include opportunities to indulge and enjoy food on special occasions, or when I am feeling the need. I am not talking about a total binge. That never gives me peace and always leaves me feeling free.

Do you see how my temptations and tendencies determined the boundaries for me? And you can do the same. It all comes back to knowing yourself. Once you do you will find that your boundaries are very clear. Stay within those boundaries and they will guide you to peace.

Take home message: Determine your boundaries and then make plans to stay within them.

DAY 3- You Deserve This

January 3, 2015January 11, 2015 | Robynn Coates

A couple days ago we talked about rating your peace. To some it may seem like too simple of a concept, but let me warn you, don’t underestimate its power. When I began taking a deeper look at my life in regards to food, and honestly rating my level of peace before, during, and after I ate, I noticed a shift in my life. I would be like a kid on Christmas morning, rubbing my eyes because I couldn’t believe what I was seeing before me–something special, something magical–a change for the better.

For once, it wasn’t a diet or rule telling me how or what to eat. This time, it was my inner self that suddenly started making different choices. And surprisingly, the decision to continue trying various PWF Tools wasn’t very difficult either. I actually wanted to give them a try, because I knew the results may give me even greater levels of peace. To this day, some tools work better for me than others, but that is the beauty of trying them. You get to tweak and adjust them, based of the level of peace they give you, and you can alter them to work to your advantage. You deserve this

Now as great as all of this sounds, it is important to address that some of you may still be a little timid to keep trying Peace with Food…because you are scared. Scared…to see a change. I want you to know that those feelings are completely normal. I was there at one time too. You feel vulnerable because you don’t know what the outcome will be and you’ve tried so many things over the years that have let you down. Failure after failure with weight-loss attempts continue to haunt you, so why try this?

All I can say, dear friend, is I am taking the time to write you today because this has changed my life. And it’s not like I’ve only lived it out for a short couple of weeks. It’s actually coming upon 4 years that I’ve lived this way and I am still so “awed” by it that I have to share it with you. So for what it is worth, please, come join me, and invite others to come along too. Give it a chance. I want to do this with you because I know it can improve your life too…

Posse Discussion: What reservations do you have about trying the 30-Day Peace with Food challenge? Why? Share with your group.

Click here for Day 4!

Time to Celebrate!

December 31, 2014January 11, 2015 | Robynn Coates

A new beginning! We can’t begin to tell you how excited we are for you as you set out on the Peace with Food journey because we remember WELL our new beginning.

It was April 24, 2012.

That is when we drew a line in the sand and said no more diets. And almost three years later it is a decision we will never regret. Life-changing. Sounds dramatic, but it’s true.

So, are you ready for this new beginning?! How are you going to celebrate?

Here are some suggestions to get you started:

Do something that is significant to you. Have fun with a friend or posse. If you prefer it more low key, just stay home, veg and do something that you enjoy. Watch your favorite movie. Write out your goals for the upcoming year. Make a Live-It List (our version of a bucket list).

Do whatever speaks to you. Robynn actually wrote out a contract and signed it. You don’t need to do that unless you want. (We’re including a Fresh Start Pact at the end of this post in case you are one to like writing it down!)

Dream about where you want to be a year from today. See yourself living in peace and make a plan to take small steps daily to develop the habits and skills necessary. Remember the famous U.S. Army General George Patton’s quote:

The best plan today is better than the perfect plan tomorrow.

So don’t worry if the plan isn’t perfect. It will unfold for you as you go. For now, celebrate this new beginning – living a life full of peace. Are you ready?!

Let the party (and your new life) begin!!

Take-Home Message: Celebrate your new life!

Click here for Day 1!

My Fresh Start Pact
Living at Peace with Food

It’s a new beginning!

On this date, ________________________________________

I, ___________________________________, am committing to a fresh start!

Today I am drawing a line in the sand and kissing diets good-bye for life!

Today I take 100% responsibility for my life.

From this day forward I will focus on #PEACE.

I will Follow Peace rather than fads, diets, or what everyone else is doing. Instead, I will find what works for me and what gives me peace.

I commit to gaining the skills that will lead to Peace with Food – skills that are transferable to all other areas of my life. I will live my best life ever – a life full of peace!

It is with excitement to begin my Peace with Food journey that I sign this pact!

Date _____________________________________

Name ______________________________________

(You may also want to have your posse sign this pact for an extra measure of accountability.)

Click on the link below for the PDF Version of the Fresh Start Pact:

Peace with Food Fresh Start Pact

Show and Tell: Bite #1

December 11, 2014December 11, 2014 | Robynn Coates

As former teachers, one of the valuable lessons we learned was the power of showing vs. just telling.

So, throughout this blog not only will we tell you how to have peace, we are going to show you how we do it via video. In these videos you’ll get to take an inside look at our life – how we handle temptations, how we deal with the funk, and how we handle life in general. From time to time we will also show you how other people are living at Peace with Food.

We hope in showing you our techniques it will help you come up with strategies of your own. So, here goes, our first show and tell:

To read more about the “Bite #1” tool, read here.

Take-Home Message:

Showing is more effective than just telling.

Peace Dare: Bite #1

December 10, 2014 | Robynn Coates

Hey There! Glad you’re with us!

PWF Testimonial: One of Robynn’s friends decided to apply Bite #1 at a Mexican restaurant she visits frequently with her family. Before this concept, she would order a Pepsi to go with her meal. Although it was just the first few sips that actually tasted good, she would drink the whole glass because she was thirsty and it was “there”. However, after she heard this concept she began ordering her Pepsi, but also a water. After three sips, when the soda no longer tasted good, she would give it to her husband and instead drink her water.

What a great way to apply this principle!

So, now it’s your turn! Take the Peace Dare: