Month: January 2015

DAY 13- How to Have Peace with Your Body

| Robynn Coates

There are many ways to have peace with your body and today we are going to share four of them:

#1: Realize that everyone has to deal with imperfect circumstances. We thought we’d share this video to encourage you that, although things may look perfect on the outside, they may not be as they seem.

#2: Focus on your uniqueness and eliminate comparisons with others. Often what steals our peace is comparing our body image to others. We can relate to this! Read Robynn’s story about her obsession with Carrie Underwood Thighs, here!

#3: Keep the balance of your peace across the board. Working out seven days a week may give you peace with your body, but at the expense of other areas of your life (such as family time).  That being said, how can you find a compromise to avoid your peace being off kilter in other areas of your life? Could you have peace with working out 4 days a week (even though you won’t have as toned of abs) but also keep the peace at home by using the 3 other days as “family time”? How to have Peace with your Body

#4: Use words of affirmations to retrain your thoughts. If you want to reprogram how you feel about yourself you will have to change your negative self-talk by replacing it with positive affirmations.  What do you want your life to look like?  Begin speaking your desires for your life rather than all the negative things you dislike about it.  Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “We become what we think about all day long.”   This is a powerful habit that can literally change your life!  When creating your own affirmations begin with “I am . . .” or “I have . . .”, keep it in the present tense, and keep it positive.  An example would be, “I am living at peace with food and have a healthy and fit body I love!”

You could use also use the serenity prayer. See our examples below and then create your own serenity prayer…

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change:
For Robynn, help her accept that her drumstick-shaped thighs won’t be exactly what she wants.
For Lara, help her accept her larger-upper body since some of it is genetic.

courage to change the things I can;
For Robynn, give her courage to be okay with the body results she gets in exercising no more than 30-minutes a day (the amount of time that brings her peace)
For Lara, give her courage to have confidence in the arms that she has, as she is not willing to invest the time required for toned arms.

and wisdom to know the difference.
Help me accept my imperfect self and focus on the most important things in life.

Posse Discussion:

Out of the 4 suggestions we give to finding peace with your body, which one do you think will be most helpful and why?

 

The Peace Coaches

 

 

 

 

Click Here for Day 14!

DAY 12- Week of Body Image & Scale

| Robynn Coates

This week we are talking about body image and the scale. This is an important aspect of Peace with Food because what we eat impacts our appearance and the number on the scale. So how to we get peace in these areas?

For starters, we need to end the Insane Cycle. You know–that crazy cycle we get on when we obsess about an area of our body or a number on the scale. We get so fixated on these things we don’t think clearly anymore! We experience extreme highs (such as finally hitting a goal weight) and then extreme lows (such as gaining all the weight back after reaching our goal weight), and then we make ourselves go on another extreme diet in hopes we’ll have a better outcome next time.

Or how about every time we look in the mirror and have feelings of disgust as we stare at areas of our bodies that we hate? This extreme focus on our physique causes us to pass up opportunities to go swimming with our kids or a double date with our friends from work. It causes us to miss out on life.with Body

There are things about a person’s body that they can control, and others that they can’t. They can lose the weight–and we’ll help them do that–but part of having peace means accepting areas of their body that may be unrealistic to change. For example, if they are always envying girls that are tall with long legs, having peace will mean letting go of the fact that they are only 5’3″.

We have always been goal-oriented people but when we finally realized–by accepting imperfections about our bodies–we could actually eliminate the daily pain of always wishing for something different.  Once we did this, we began to have more peace in our lives.

We are not saying  you need to give up on yourself or use what we say as an excuse to eat crummy. What we are saying is often times we can get so focused on something that we don’t zoom out and realize that some of the things we are chasing are either unrealistic or too big of a step for now. You will have to get rid of the All-or-Nothing mindset and be willing to tackle small, achievable, goals in order to have long-term, realistic success.

So this week, we encourage you to “zoom out”and figure out what is a realistic, bite-sized goal you can make to achieve your weight-loss success.

Posse Discussion:

1: What is one area of your body that you wish you could change?
2: What is your current level #peace in regards to your body image?  (Record date and # in your notebook)

Peace Chart2

The Peace Coaches

 

 

 

 

Click Here for Day 13!

DAY 11- Recap on FOOD

| Robynn Coates

This week we talked about food. Here is a summary of the posts from this week’s discussion (click on underlined words to read that post):

-Making calories count by using a tool we call Don’t Waste Your Calories.
-The importance of Knowing Yourself when it comes to food.
-Participating in The Peace Dare by taking a closer look of the foods in your kitchen.
-Learning new eating strategies by how Lara eats.
-Learning new eating strategies by how Robynn eats.
-How to Disarm the Foods That Control You.with Food

On Day 1, we had you rate your level #peace in regards to food. After discussing food this week, we want you to rate your current level #peace again.

Posse Discussion:

In regards to food, what was your level #peace on Day 1? What was it today? Has your number increased or decreased? Why?

Peace Chart2

Join us tomorrow as we dive into Body Image and the Scale!

The Peace Coaches

 

 

 

 

Click Here for Day 12!

DAY 10- Disarming the Foods That Control You

| Robynn Coates

disarm the foods

Have you ever had foods that you just couldn’t get out of your mind?  Foods that had a hold on you and controlled you?

Been there.

For years it seemed that I was tormented by my favorite sweets.  Cookie dough, dessert bars, and other confections were my downfall.  I just loved them.  But they controlled me and I hated that.

Then one day, I had a breakthrough moment.  It was an Aha Moment for me and the beginning of learning the skill of disarming the foods that controlled me.  Let me share with you the secret I discovered.

At the time I was on a date ball kick.  I think I had seen someone on the Food Network make them and was hooked.  In case you’ve never had date balls, I’ll describe them.  They are this gooey sweet treat made with melted butter, sugar, candies dates, pecans, and rice crispies. Because you make this confection on the stove and not in the oven they are accessible throughout the preparation and cooking time.

So there I stood at the stove, with a pan full of gooey-ness and easy access. Of course I was taste testing the entire time. My experience was similar to Lara’s in Bite #1 vs Bite 21:  Bite #1:  AWESOME!  Bite #2:  YUM . . . need I say more?  But by Bite #10 (or probably even before that) I should have been finished, but I just couldn’t stop.

This scenario was played out too many times to count, but on this particular day I had had enough.  I literally said out loud, “Date balls you will not defeat me!  I will defeat you!!!”  It was game on.

Right then and there I came up with a plan to get victory over these date balls.  Instead of making the full recipe I cut it down to a fraction of the original recipe.  I did this by deciding how many points (Weight Watchers) I wanted to consume and then made only that amount. Let me tell ya, it worked like a charm.

The next time date balls called my name I was able to make them, eat them all, and do it all guilt-free.  I got closure, met a need, and best of all won a victory.

So, why not try it out?  Next time you are faced with temptation try cutting it down to a portion that is moderate and will give you peace.  With enough practice you will begin developing new habits and perfecting the skill of disarming the foods that control you.

Posse Discussion:

Part 1: Name one food item that controls you
Part 2: Rate your current level #peace  with that food item (see Peace Chart below)
Part 3: Describe how you can disarm that food item (make a smaller batch, order a kid-sized meal, split a meal with someone, etc)

Peace Chart2

Your Robynn

 

 

 

Click Here for Day #11!

 

 

 

DAY 9- How Robynn Eats

| Robynn Coates

how much to eat

When it comes to finding what works for you in regards to eating, let me just say that experimenting is the name of the game.  Now, you might be one of those people who nails it on the first try, but if you’re like me, it would be more like the 134th try.

I won’t say I’ve tried everything, because who could possibly do that?  But I have tried a lot of different things.  I’ve done high protein and no carbs, but that was too restrictive for me.  And I’ve tried to just listen to my hunger cues and eat only at those times I was truly hungry, but that didn’t fit either.  It was too loose.

The thing that has proven to work best for me is having some boundaries as to how much I can eat (a no-brainer in any weight-loss approach, right?), but freedom in what I eat.  Using this as my parameters, Weight Watchers has been the best fit for me.

Some of you may be asking, “Isn’t Weight Watchers a diet?  I thought you kissed dieting good-bye?”

Although Weight Watchers is often lumped into the diet category, I don’t consider it a diet because it doesn’t dictate to me what to eat.  Weight Watchers gives me an allotment of “points” per day, but they don’t tell me what I can and can not eat.  In fact nothing is off limits – food wise – in Weight Watchers.  They do give recommendations as to how many carbs, proteins, fruits & veggies, etc. you eat each day, along with a few other recommendations, but that’s it.

So, the majority of the time I am staying within my points.  But there are times when I deviate and go over my “points” on purpose such as on holidays and special occasions, but as soon as these are over I get right back on track.  I know I probably made that sound easy, but it really is a skill – the skill of resetting– that I have been working on for nearly three years and am just now getting good at it.

Awareness of how much (or should I say, how little) food my body really does need to function optimally was one of the first steps I had to take on the path of Peace with Food. Knowing myself in this area was shocking at first because turns out I was eating about 2 to 3 times more food than what I actually needed.  But, then, and only then, could I begin to improve myself in this area.

If you are new to healthy eating and living at Peace with Food you will want to have this reality check.  Find out how much food your body really needs.  Many health and wellness websites can tell you the amount of calories* you actually need each day.

But I will warn you (with a twinkle in my eye!) be prepared to be shocked!  The truth hurts, but it ultimately will set you free.  You may find out that you are eating much more than your body needs resulting in that extra weight.  Our society, in general, consumes way more food than our bodies actually need – hence the obesity epidemic.

After the shock wears off, however, you can begin experimenting with eating approaches to find the one that works for you.  And that’s when you really begin to experience peace.

There you have it!  That’s how I eat.  Now it’s your turn.  What works the best for you?

Posse Discussion:

What would give you a greater level #peace:

A) A pre-established eating strategy, such as Weight Watchers
B) Tweaking a pre-established eating strategy, such as Weight Watchers
C) Creating an eating strategy all on your own

Your Robynn

 

 

 

Click Here for Day #10!

*Many weight-loss approaches don’t focus on calories at all, but rather serving sizes along with the type of food you eat.  Initially it may be helpful to count up the calories you typically consume and compare it with the recommended amount of calories recommended for a person of your age, sex, and height.  This will give you an idea of how much you are eating compared to what your body really needs.  

DAY 8- How Lara Eats

| Robynn Coates

Show & TellHey Friends!

Wanted to share a thought…I used to never like carrots. In fact, most of my life I cringed when I saw a carrot! It reminded me of my days as a child, when I would go to my Mom and say, “I’m hungry!” She would usually reply, “Go have a carrot.”

It’s not that I hated how carrots tasted–and my Mom was only trying to offer me a healthy option–but now that I am an adult, and have learned how to apply PWF by eating foods I LOVE, I now do this:

I eat carrots, but allow myself to have them with ranch dressing. Turns out, I LOVE it.

In my dieting days, having “unhealthy” ranch dressing with my carrots would be a “No-no.” Due to this, I would avoid carrots altogether and turn to unhealthy food because I figured if I can’t have ranch dressing I might as well rebel and eat junk! How silly is that?! But if allowing myself to add a little bit of ranch to this snack is going to help me LOVE it, I think it is a better option than going for potato chips or sweets, don’t you?

Watch the video below for another way I eat healthy by pairing it with what some would consider a “No-no.”

 

Posse Discussion: Is there a healthy food that you would eat if you could pair it with something that is considered “unhealthy”? Share with your group!

The Peace Coaches

 

 

 

 

Click Here for Day #9!

 

DAY 6- How Should I Eat?

| Robynn Coates

how should i eat

As you begin this journey, you may be asking yourself, “How should I eat?”  One thing you will find in Peace with Food is that we don’t dictate to you how you should eat.  Remember, Peace with Food is a step-by-step customized lifestyle, tailored specifically for you and that is going to involve you experimenting.  That being said, you can relax because we won’t keep you hanging.  We’ll share with you how we eat and help you find the perfect fit for you.

Initially your head may be spinning.  Should I follow someone’s food plan? Should I go low-carb?  Should I count calories and if so how many should I eat daily?  Someone, please just tell me exactly what to eat!

Although we won’t tell you what to eat, we will give you some guidance and point you in the right direction.  Are you ready?

The first step to Peace with Food (or peace in any area for that matter) is this:  Know yourself to improve yourself. Answer the following questions to help you examine yourself in regards to food:

  1. What eating approaches give me the most peace?  (i.e. high protein – low carb, counting calories, eating only when I am hungry, etc.)
  2. What eating approaches steal my peace?
  3. Do I prefer an approach that is “tight”, “loose”, or somewhere in between?
  4. Do I prefer coming up with my own eating approach via trial and error or would I like to “shop around” for other proven approaches that might work for me with some adjustments.
  5. Do I or any of my family members have restrictions in food due to health conditions?
  6. What does my landscape of eating look like? (i.e. regular family meals, eating out regularly for business, working around food, other temptations that are prevalent in my life, etc.)
  7. What eating approach could I do for rest of my life?
  8. If I could create any eating approach I wanted to it would look like:
  9. What are my comfort foods?
  10. What are my Love-It foods?
  11. What are my Leave-It foods?
  12. What eating occasions give me peace?
  13. What eating occasions bring me sadness, discomfort, or guilt?

Once you answer these questions you can then begin experimenting with the data you have received.  If there is any eating approach that does not give peace, put it aside.  Find the approach that gives you the most peace and then begin “trying it on for size.”  After you have tried it a time or two it’s time to evaluate.  Did it give you peace?  If not, what part of it didn’t give you peace?  Can you tweak it or do you need to pitch it and try something new?

This will help you begin eating in a way that gives peace with food.  Whatever you do, don’t get discouraged. Remember how we said that we failed, and failed, and failed?  As long as you are experimenting, you are making progress, so hang in there.  You will move forward to greater peace if you do not quit!

Posse Discussion: 

Pick and answer a question from the above list and share your response with your posse.

The Peace Coaches

 

 

 

 

Click Here for Day 7!

Day 5 – Eat What You Want

| Robynn Coates

Now before you come unglued by the title of this post, please hear us out.  We understand that eating whatever you want is a total paradigm shift – a fundamental change in approach or underlying assumptions.*  And let’s face it.  We don’t let go of our assumptions without a fight.  So let us explain what we mean when we say you can eat what you want.

For years we tried to eat what everyone told us to eat.  We did our best to conform and comply to their rules, but it never brought us peace.  When we began our Peace with Food journey however, we took a different approach – that of a scientist.  With this mindset, we didn’t try to manipulate the results, but instead we were open-minded and unbiased about the outcome.

That was our approach.  We just wanted to experiment to see what really worked.

Eat What You Want

So, in the spirit of experimentation, and using the resources we had, we set off, clueless as to what we would discover.

Feeling so deprived of being able to eat foods we loved, we gave ourselves permission to experiment with eating the foods we most loved.  And when we did we were shocked (in a good way) to see the #peace go up.  It was unbelievable because we were breaking all the diet rules, yet our peace was through the roof.  And although we allowed ourselves to eat whatever we wanted, we learned early on that if we wanted our #peace to stay up we couldn’t eat as much as we wanted.  There were limits.  These limits were similar to the the lines on a highway.  Going over one line can lead you in the ditch and going over the other line into oncoming traffic.  Neither scenario is good, so the lesson we learned was this: keep it between the lines.

Yes, initially we were eating what might be considered a lot junk food, but this was the first time in our life we were doing it with permission and in moderation and the end result was peace. As we continued to pursue peace in this area over time, we saw that we desired to eat healthier foods, not because we had to or because someone was telling us to, but because for the first time in our lives we actually wanted to!

This was a major breakthrough for us.

Peace with Food gave us A Power we had never known to choose healthy eating in a way that dieting never could. It was unbelievable. Now before you think that we are giving you permission to eat anything regardless the results, remember, our whole mantra in Peace with Food is to Follow Peace.  Poor health and excessive weight gain doesn’t give lasting peace, so eating in a way that is detrimental to your health would be a deal breaker. For us eating “junk food” for a period of time brought peace because it counteracted the effects of extreme deprivation. It allowed us to psychologically uncoil from years of strict dieting and rule following.  It was as if we were making up for all those years of dieting, but doing so in moderation and in peace.  Finally, after all the experimentation, this is what we found to be the most effective:

 You can eat whatever you want, as long as it brings you peace.

So these days, before we decide to eat something, here are some questions that we will ask ourselves:
-Will eating ______ bring me peace?
-Will the way I will feel after eating ______ bring me peace?
-What quantity of ____will bring me the most peace?
-If I don’t eat _____will I regret it and then end up eating something else later to try and “make up” for it?
-Will eating_____bring me peace or make me feel deprived if I pass it up?

You may be thinking, “There are no foods that give me peace because eating anything causes me to gain weight”. We can understand why you would initially think that. But to further explain, read some of the ways we eat in peace.

Lara Says:
-Eating birthday cake with my kids brings me peace because I know if I pass up that special moment it will make me feel deprived (and, I LOVE cake!). Plus, if I don’t eat it I will have regrets later, resulting in raiding the pantry to make up for it.
-Currently what brings me peace, is allowing myself to eat one or two cookie dough balls and a glass of milk every night. I enjoy indulging in this treat in the evenings, after the kids are asleep in bed–the house is quiet and I can savor every bite. It is the most relaxing part of my day. Earlier in the day, if I am tempted to eat other random sweets, I remind myself that my evening snack (and relaxation time) is what I look forward to the most, which helps me avoid wasting my calories on other cookies I may be tempted with.
-Drinking pop with pizza is another food that brings me peace. I am not a huge pop drinker, but when it comes to pizza I really love having it! Typically pop would be a waste of my calories, but if I try drinking water with pizza I usually regret it…which means I head back to the kitchen later that evening trying to satisfy the desire, even thought moment has passed.  Over time I’ve learned that letting myself enjoy pop with pizza is what brings me the most peace–and actually saves me more calories in the long-run because I’m not trying to “make up” for it later!

Robynn Says:
-Thanks to Peace with Food, Robynn actually gave up diet pop.  Before PWF she had many unsuccessful attempts at kicking this habit. But with her new PWF mantra of “Follow Peace” she determined she wasn’t willing to give up one more day laying in bed with a splitting headache as her family enjoyed life without her.  Does she miss pop?  Sure.  But does she have greater peace not drinking it to avoid the headaches it caused her?  Yes!
-Drinks with calories are a waste of calories for Robynn.  Every once in a great while she will enjoy a hot cocoa on a cold wintry day or an ice cold glass of lemonade on a summer day, but for the most part, caloric drinks are an easy way for her to eliminate unnecessary calories.

It is important to mention that what brings you peace today may not bring you peace later. If Lara finds that pop becomes something she “likes” with pizza, but doesn’t “LOVE” then she will switch back to water or make adjustments to find what brings her peace at that time. People change. Moods change. Try to avoid doing things because it is routine, and instead, be more conscious about asking if your actions are still bringing you peace.

This is what has worked for us.  Now it’s time to find out what works for you.  Remember, you have to know yourself. Know your health and physical condition. Eating junk food may wreak havoc for you with your current health condition which would result in no peace.  If you suffer from celiac disease, you’re not going to find peace by disregarding your condition and diving into a plate of pasta.  Maybe that would give temporary satisfaction, but it’s end result would not give peace.

Remember, there is no one-size-fits-all so find what works for you!

Are there foods you love, but have made off-limits?  Is it time to reintroduce those foods and allow yourself to enjoy them in moderation?  Do your own experiment and see how it works:

 You can eat whatever you want, as long as it brings you peace.

Then report back to us and tell us what you have discovered!

Posse Discussion:
1-Do you agree with being able to “eat what you want, as long as it gives you peace”?
2-Do you have any questions after reading this post? If so, what are they?

The Peace Coaches

*This is Google’s definition for paradigm shift.

**For the majority of people, this principle applies. However, because there is no one-size-fits-all, you may have to adjust this according to your specific needs. This would include, but is not limited to, those who are diabetic, have celiac disease, or some other issue requiring strict monitoring of food intake.