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DAY 10- Disarming the Foods That Control You

| Robynn Coates

disarm the foods

Have you ever had foods that you just couldn’t get out of your mind?  Foods that had a hold on you and controlled you?

Been there.

For years it seemed that I was tormented by my favorite sweets.  Cookie dough, dessert bars, and other confections were my downfall.  I just loved them.  But they controlled me and I hated that.

Then one day, I had a breakthrough moment.  It was an Aha Moment for me and the beginning of learning the skill of disarming the foods that controlled me.  Let me share with you the secret I discovered.

At the time I was on a date ball kick.  I think I had seen someone on the Food Network make them and was hooked.  In case you’ve never had date balls, I’ll describe them.  They are this gooey sweet treat made with melted butter, sugar, candies dates, pecans, and rice crispies. Because you make this confection on the stove and not in the oven they are accessible throughout the preparation and cooking time.

So there I stood at the stove, with a pan full of gooey-ness and easy access. Of course I was taste testing the entire time. My experience was similar to Lara’s in Bite #1 vs Bite 21:  Bite #1:  AWESOME!  Bite #2:  YUM . . . need I say more?  But by Bite #10 (or probably even before that) I should have been finished, but I just couldn’t stop.

This scenario was played out too many times to count, but on this particular day I had had enough.  I literally said out loud, “Date balls you will not defeat me!  I will defeat you!!!”  It was game on.

Right then and there I came up with a plan to get victory over these date balls.  Instead of making the full recipe I cut it down to a fraction of the original recipe.  I did this by deciding how many points (Weight Watchers) I wanted to consume and then made only that amount. Let me tell ya, it worked like a charm.

The next time date balls called my name I was able to make them, eat them all, and do it all guilt-free.  I got closure, met a need, and best of all won a victory.

So, why not try it out?  Next time you are faced with temptation try cutting it down to a portion that is moderate and will give you peace.  With enough practice you will begin developing new habits and perfecting the skill of disarming the foods that control you.

Posse Discussion:

Part 1: Name one food item that controls you
Part 2: Rate your current level #peace  with that food item (see Peace Chart below)
Part 3: Describe how you can disarm that food item (make a smaller batch, order a kid-sized meal, split a meal with someone, etc)

Peace Chart2

Your Robynn

 

 

 

Click Here for Day #11!

 

 

 

DAY 9- How Robynn Eats

| Robynn Coates

how much to eat

When it comes to finding what works for you in regards to eating, let me just say that experimenting is the name of the game.  Now, you might be one of those people who nails it on the first try, but if you’re like me, it would be more like the 134th try.

I won’t say I’ve tried everything, because who could possibly do that?  But I have tried a lot of different things.  I’ve done high protein and no carbs, but that was too restrictive for me.  And I’ve tried to just listen to my hunger cues and eat only at those times I was truly hungry, but that didn’t fit either.  It was too loose.

The thing that has proven to work best for me is having some boundaries as to how much I can eat (a no-brainer in any weight-loss approach, right?), but freedom in what I eat.  Using this as my parameters, Weight Watchers has been the best fit for me.

Some of you may be asking, “Isn’t Weight Watchers a diet?  I thought you kissed dieting good-bye?”

Although Weight Watchers is often lumped into the diet category, I don’t consider it a diet because it doesn’t dictate to me what to eat.  Weight Watchers gives me an allotment of “points” per day, but they don’t tell me what I can and can not eat.  In fact nothing is off limits – food wise – in Weight Watchers.  They do give recommendations as to how many carbs, proteins, fruits & veggies, etc. you eat each day, along with a few other recommendations, but that’s it.

So, the majority of the time I am staying within my points.  But there are times when I deviate and go over my “points” on purpose such as on holidays and special occasions, but as soon as these are over I get right back on track.  I know I probably made that sound easy, but it really is a skill – the skill of resetting– that I have been working on for nearly three years and am just now getting good at it.

Awareness of how much (or should I say, how little) food my body really does need to function optimally was one of the first steps I had to take on the path of Peace with Food. Knowing myself in this area was shocking at first because turns out I was eating about 2 to 3 times more food than what I actually needed.  But, then, and only then, could I begin to improve myself in this area.

If you are new to healthy eating and living at Peace with Food you will want to have this reality check.  Find out how much food your body really needs.  Many health and wellness websites can tell you the amount of calories* you actually need each day.

But I will warn you (with a twinkle in my eye!) be prepared to be shocked!  The truth hurts, but it ultimately will set you free.  You may find out that you are eating much more than your body needs resulting in that extra weight.  Our society, in general, consumes way more food than our bodies actually need – hence the obesity epidemic.

After the shock wears off, however, you can begin experimenting with eating approaches to find the one that works for you.  And that’s when you really begin to experience peace.

There you have it!  That’s how I eat.  Now it’s your turn.  What works the best for you?

Posse Discussion:

What would give you a greater level #peace:

A) A pre-established eating strategy, such as Weight Watchers
B) Tweaking a pre-established eating strategy, such as Weight Watchers
C) Creating an eating strategy all on your own

Your Robynn

 

 

 

Click Here for Day #10!

*Many weight-loss approaches don’t focus on calories at all, but rather serving sizes along with the type of food you eat.  Initially it may be helpful to count up the calories you typically consume and compare it with the recommended amount of calories recommended for a person of your age, sex, and height.  This will give you an idea of how much you are eating compared to what your body really needs.  

DAY 8- How Lara Eats

| Robynn Coates

Show & TellHey Friends!

Wanted to share a thought…I used to never like carrots. In fact, most of my life I cringed when I saw a carrot! It reminded me of my days as a child, when I would go to my Mom and say, “I’m hungry!” She would usually reply, “Go have a carrot.”

It’s not that I hated how carrots tasted–and my Mom was only trying to offer me a healthy option–but now that I am an adult, and have learned how to apply PWF by eating foods I LOVE, I now do this:

I eat carrots, but allow myself to have them with ranch dressing. Turns out, I LOVE it.

In my dieting days, having “unhealthy” ranch dressing with my carrots would be a “No-no.” Due to this, I would avoid carrots altogether and turn to unhealthy food because I figured if I can’t have ranch dressing I might as well rebel and eat junk! How silly is that?! But if allowing myself to add a little bit of ranch to this snack is going to help me LOVE it, I think it is a better option than going for potato chips or sweets, don’t you?

Watch the video below for another way I eat healthy by pairing it with what some would consider a “No-no.”

 

Posse Discussion: Is there a healthy food that you would eat if you could pair it with something that is considered “unhealthy”? Share with your group!

The Peace Coaches

 

 

 

 

Click Here for Day #9!

 

DAY 6- How Should I Eat?

| Robynn Coates

how should i eat

As you begin this journey, you may be asking yourself, “How should I eat?”  One thing you will find in Peace with Food is that we don’t dictate to you how you should eat.  Remember, Peace with Food is a step-by-step customized lifestyle, tailored specifically for you and that is going to involve you experimenting.  That being said, you can relax because we won’t keep you hanging.  We’ll share with you how we eat and help you find the perfect fit for you.

Initially your head may be spinning.  Should I follow someone’s food plan? Should I go low-carb?  Should I count calories and if so how many should I eat daily?  Someone, please just tell me exactly what to eat!

Although we won’t tell you what to eat, we will give you some guidance and point you in the right direction.  Are you ready?

The first step to Peace with Food (or peace in any area for that matter) is this:  Know yourself to improve yourself. Answer the following questions to help you examine yourself in regards to food:

  1. What eating approaches give me the most peace?  (i.e. high protein – low carb, counting calories, eating only when I am hungry, etc.)
  2. What eating approaches steal my peace?
  3. Do I prefer an approach that is “tight”, “loose”, or somewhere in between?
  4. Do I prefer coming up with my own eating approach via trial and error or would I like to “shop around” for other proven approaches that might work for me with some adjustments.
  5. Do I or any of my family members have restrictions in food due to health conditions?
  6. What does my landscape of eating look like? (i.e. regular family meals, eating out regularly for business, working around food, other temptations that are prevalent in my life, etc.)
  7. What eating approach could I do for rest of my life?
  8. If I could create any eating approach I wanted to it would look like:
  9. What are my comfort foods?
  10. What are my Love-It foods?
  11. What are my Leave-It foods?
  12. What eating occasions give me peace?
  13. What eating occasions bring me sadness, discomfort, or guilt?

Once you answer these questions you can then begin experimenting with the data you have received.  If there is any eating approach that does not give peace, put it aside.  Find the approach that gives you the most peace and then begin “trying it on for size.”  After you have tried it a time or two it’s time to evaluate.  Did it give you peace?  If not, what part of it didn’t give you peace?  Can you tweak it or do you need to pitch it and try something new?

This will help you begin eating in a way that gives peace with food.  Whatever you do, don’t get discouraged. Remember how we said that we failed, and failed, and failed?  As long as you are experimenting, you are making progress, so hang in there.  You will move forward to greater peace if you do not quit!

Posse Discussion: 

Pick and answer a question from the above list and share your response with your posse.

The Peace Coaches

 

 

 

 

Click Here for Day 7!

Day 5 – Eat What You Want

| Robynn Coates

Now before you come unglued by the title of this post, please hear us out.  We understand that eating whatever you want is a total paradigm shift – a fundamental change in approach or underlying assumptions.*  And let’s face it.  We don’t let go of our assumptions without a fight.  So let us explain what we mean when we say you can eat what you want.

For years we tried to eat what everyone told us to eat.  We did our best to conform and comply to their rules, but it never brought us peace.  When we began our Peace with Food journey however, we took a different approach – that of a scientist.  With this mindset, we didn’t try to manipulate the results, but instead we were open-minded and unbiased about the outcome.

That was our approach.  We just wanted to experiment to see what really worked.

Eat What You Want

So, in the spirit of experimentation, and using the resources we had, we set off, clueless as to what we would discover.

Feeling so deprived of being able to eat foods we loved, we gave ourselves permission to experiment with eating the foods we most loved.  And when we did we were shocked (in a good way) to see the #peace go up.  It was unbelievable because we were breaking all the diet rules, yet our peace was through the roof.  And although we allowed ourselves to eat whatever we wanted, we learned early on that if we wanted our #peace to stay up we couldn’t eat as much as we wanted.  There were limits.  These limits were similar to the the lines on a highway.  Going over one line can lead you in the ditch and going over the other line into oncoming traffic.  Neither scenario is good, so the lesson we learned was this: keep it between the lines.

Yes, initially we were eating what might be considered a lot junk food, but this was the first time in our life we were doing it with permission and in moderation and the end result was peace. As we continued to pursue peace in this area over time, we saw that we desired to eat healthier foods, not because we had to or because someone was telling us to, but because for the first time in our lives we actually wanted to!

This was a major breakthrough for us.

Peace with Food gave us A Power we had never known to choose healthy eating in a way that dieting never could. It was unbelievable. Now before you think that we are giving you permission to eat anything regardless the results, remember, our whole mantra in Peace with Food is to Follow Peace.  Poor health and excessive weight gain doesn’t give lasting peace, so eating in a way that is detrimental to your health would be a deal breaker. For us eating “junk food” for a period of time brought peace because it counteracted the effects of extreme deprivation. It allowed us to psychologically uncoil from years of strict dieting and rule following.  It was as if we were making up for all those years of dieting, but doing so in moderation and in peace.  Finally, after all the experimentation, this is what we found to be the most effective:

 You can eat whatever you want, as long as it brings you peace.

So these days, before we decide to eat something, here are some questions that we will ask ourselves:
-Will eating ______ bring me peace?
-Will the way I will feel after eating ______ bring me peace?
-What quantity of ____will bring me the most peace?
-If I don’t eat _____will I regret it and then end up eating something else later to try and “make up” for it?
-Will eating_____bring me peace or make me feel deprived if I pass it up?

You may be thinking, “There are no foods that give me peace because eating anything causes me to gain weight”. We can understand why you would initially think that. But to further explain, read some of the ways we eat in peace.

Lara Says:
-Eating birthday cake with my kids brings me peace because I know if I pass up that special moment it will make me feel deprived (and, I LOVE cake!). Plus, if I don’t eat it I will have regrets later, resulting in raiding the pantry to make up for it.
-Currently what brings me peace, is allowing myself to eat one or two cookie dough balls and a glass of milk every night. I enjoy indulging in this treat in the evenings, after the kids are asleep in bed–the house is quiet and I can savor every bite. It is the most relaxing part of my day. Earlier in the day, if I am tempted to eat other random sweets, I remind myself that my evening snack (and relaxation time) is what I look forward to the most, which helps me avoid wasting my calories on other cookies I may be tempted with.
-Drinking pop with pizza is another food that brings me peace. I am not a huge pop drinker, but when it comes to pizza I really love having it! Typically pop would be a waste of my calories, but if I try drinking water with pizza I usually regret it…which means I head back to the kitchen later that evening trying to satisfy the desire, even thought moment has passed.  Over time I’ve learned that letting myself enjoy pop with pizza is what brings me the most peace–and actually saves me more calories in the long-run because I’m not trying to “make up” for it later!

Robynn Says:
-Thanks to Peace with Food, Robynn actually gave up diet pop.  Before PWF she had many unsuccessful attempts at kicking this habit. But with her new PWF mantra of “Follow Peace” she determined she wasn’t willing to give up one more day laying in bed with a splitting headache as her family enjoyed life without her.  Does she miss pop?  Sure.  But does she have greater peace not drinking it to avoid the headaches it caused her?  Yes!
-Drinks with calories are a waste of calories for Robynn.  Every once in a great while she will enjoy a hot cocoa on a cold wintry day or an ice cold glass of lemonade on a summer day, but for the most part, caloric drinks are an easy way for her to eliminate unnecessary calories.

It is important to mention that what brings you peace today may not bring you peace later. If Lara finds that pop becomes something she “likes” with pizza, but doesn’t “LOVE” then she will switch back to water or make adjustments to find what brings her peace at that time. People change. Moods change. Try to avoid doing things because it is routine, and instead, be more conscious about asking if your actions are still bringing you peace.

This is what has worked for us.  Now it’s time to find out what works for you.  Remember, you have to know yourself. Know your health and physical condition. Eating junk food may wreak havoc for you with your current health condition which would result in no peace.  If you suffer from celiac disease, you’re not going to find peace by disregarding your condition and diving into a plate of pasta.  Maybe that would give temporary satisfaction, but it’s end result would not give peace.

Remember, there is no one-size-fits-all so find what works for you!

Are there foods you love, but have made off-limits?  Is it time to reintroduce those foods and allow yourself to enjoy them in moderation?  Do your own experiment and see how it works:

 You can eat whatever you want, as long as it brings you peace.

Then report back to us and tell us what you have discovered!

Posse Discussion:
1-Do you agree with being able to “eat what you want, as long as it gives you peace”?
2-Do you have any questions after reading this post? If so, what are they?

The Peace Coaches

*This is Google’s definition for paradigm shift.

**For the majority of people, this principle applies. However, because there is no one-size-fits-all, you may have to adjust this according to your specific needs. This would include, but is not limited to, those who are diabetic, have celiac disease, or some other issue requiring strict monitoring of food intake.

DAY 4 – Week of Food

| Robynn Coates

This week we are talking about FOOD. Yes, food! So to get started, I am going to share with you my #1 favorite and most helpful tool (a.k.a. skill) when it comes to food. I call it Don’t Waste Your Calories.

Initially you may be thinking that I’m meaning you need to count your calories and stay within a very specific calorie intake. Well, not so fast. Not wasting your calories, to me, is actually only eating foods that 1) Absolutely love OR 2)Benefit me nutritionally–that’s right, healthy foods!

You may be asking, “People only eat food they love, don’t they?” (Unless, of course, they are on a diet.)  Well that’s what I used to think! But once I started asking myself the following questions after I put something in my mouth, my perspective changed a bit: Do I really LOVE how this tastes? Do I just like it? Or am I just eating it because it is available?

Let me give you some examples of ways I used to waste my calories:
-Eating leftover food from my kids’ plates as I cleaned off the table.
-Grabbing a few cold french fries as I get up from the table at a restaurant.
-Pizza crust (I never really realized how much I don’t LOVE pizza crust!)
-Random candy I found in the house or that kids left on the counter.
-An unopened bag of chips while I was cooking dinner.
-I am not hungry, but I head to the kitchen to try to “find” something that sounds good.
-Eating food that is easily available (food that is right there), not because I actually love it.

Don't Waste Your Calories

I have actually gone so far as to spit stuff out if I taste it and realize I didn’t love it. For example, I might take a bite of a cookie and notice it is stale as soon as it hits my tongue. There is no need to consume 50 calories of a stale cookie–that would be 50 calories I could use on something I actually enjoy!–so in that instance I would usually spit it out in a napkin and throw it away. 50 calories here and there could really add up. Over the course of a month, look how many calories you could avoid simply by cutting out the foods that don’t meet your love expectations!

Obviously there will be situations where you need to eat certain foods that you may not love, such as at a dinner party when it would be rude to spit it out.  But majority of the time you have the ability to stop or throw away what you are eating if it isn’t meeting your qualifications 😉 And remember, only you can decide what your taste buds desire the most.

So there you have it! To utilize the Don’t Waste Your Calories tool, make every calorie count by either making sure you love how it tastes or it provides nutrition for your body (or adjust this tool by defining it in a way that gives you peace!).

Posse Discussion:

Part 1: Name one food item that you have been wasting your calories on because you mindlessly eat it.
Part 2: If you were to eliminate this food item, what #peace would it give you (Use Peace Chart below)? If completely eliminating this item brings no peace, what can you do that would give you peace?

Peace Chart2

Your Lara

 

 

 

Click Here for Day 5!

DAY 3- You Deserve This

| Robynn Coates

A couple days ago we talked about rating your peace. To some it may seem like too simple of a concept, but let me warn you, don’t underestimate its power. When I began taking a deeper look at my life in regards to food, and honestly rating my level of peace before, during, and after I ate, I noticed a shift in my life. I would be like a kid on Christmas morning, rubbing my eyes because I couldn’t believe what I was seeing before me–something special, something magical–a change for the better.

For once, it wasn’t a diet or rule telling me how or what to eat. This time, it was my inner self that suddenly started making different choices. And surprisingly, the decision to continue trying various PWF Tools wasn’t very difficult either. I actually wanted to give them a try, because I knew the results may give me even greater levels of peace. To this day, some tools work better for me than others, but that is the beauty of trying them. You get to tweak and adjust them, based of the level of peace they give you, and you can alter them to work to your advantage.You deserve this

Now as great as all of this sounds, it is important to address that some of you may still be a little timid to keep trying Peace with Food…because you are scared. Scared…to see a change. I want you to know that those feelings are completely normal. I was there at one time too. You feel vulnerable because you don’t know what the outcome will be and you’ve tried so many things over the years that have let you down. Failure after failure with weight-loss attempts continue to haunt you, so why try this?

All I can say, dear friend, is I am taking the time to write you today because this has changed my life. And it’s not like I’ve only lived it out for a short couple of weeks. It’s actually coming upon 4 years that I’ve lived this way and I am still so “awed” by it that I have to share it with you. So for what it is worth, please, come join me, and invite others to come along too. Give it a chance. I want to do this with you because I know it can improve your life too…

Posse Discussion: What reservations do you have about trying the 30-Day Peace with Food challenge? Why? Share with your group.

Your Lara

 

 

 

Click here for Day 4!

DAY 2 – Know Yourself To Improve Yourself

| Robynn Coates

There is a quote by Auguste Comte that says,

“Know yourself to improve yourself.”

Socrates said it this way,

“The unexamined life is not worth living.”

Great advice.

But something we don’t always do.  Especially in our hectic life.

Besides, it can be a bit messy and inconvenient.  After all, maybe we will find something we don’t like.  Maybe we will be faced with a character trait that we would rather not acknowledge.  Or maybe we just don’t have the time to really delve into the deepest part of us:  our hopes, ours fears, our dreams.

Maybe we don’t want to take the time to know ourselves because then we will be forced to speak up and perhaps rock the boat.  Maybe we will have to confront or challenge the status quo.

That may be the down-side, but there is an up-side to knowing yourself and it is this:

Knowing yourself gives you direction and clarity.  It acts as a compass, pointing you in the direction that you should go.  Knowing yourself also makes life easier in that it eliminates options and makes your choices clearer.  And that is a good thing. know yourself

In living with peace, whether that be with food, finances, relationships, or whatever it may be. . . you need to know yourself.  What are your preferences?  Your likes?  Dislikes?  What gives you peace?  What leaves you with that pit in your stomach?  What do you value most?

How well do you know yourself?

In this blog we will be discussing peace in the many different aspects of your life such as food, exercise, the scale, habits, finance, parenting, and relationships.  To have direction in each of these areas, self-knowledge will be not only helpful, but necessary.

Here’s a list of questions to help you “know yourself” in these areas.  They may not all be appropriate for each scenario, but consider using them to learn more about yourself in an area you are wanting to improve. (Sample answers are in italics)

  1. What is your greatest heart’s desire regarding _(ex. Your Career)   ? A job that allows me to use my artistic talents.
  2. What makes your heart sing regarding ___________?
  3. What is your greatest fear regarding __(ex. Relationships)____? My lack of trust.
  4. What discourages you or defeats you regarding ___________?
  5. What one thing would you change about ___(ex. Your Attitude)_? Being able to “reset” after having a bad morning.
  6. What do you value most in the area of  ___(Relationship) __?
  7. What are your gifts and talents regarding ________________?
  8. What comes easy for you, but not necessarily for others in the area of ___________?
  9. What is difficult for you, but not necessarily for others in the area of ____________?
  10. What motivates you regarding __(ex. Eating Right)__? An accountability partner.
  11. What do you like in regards to ________________?
  12. What do you dislike in regards to ______________?
  13. What would you do if you knew you were guaranteed success in regards to ________?
  14. What would life look like if it were perfect in regards to _____________?

These questions got us started, but we didn’t stop there.  We’re still asking ourselves questions and searching for ways we can be better and do better.

But there is one question we want to leave you with today.  It is a question we think may be the most powerful question you can ask yourself when pursuing peace.  And it is this:

What one habit, if you had it, would give you a quantum leap (giant boost) in achieving your goals?

Once you answer that question, begin focusing on developing that one habit.  It may even mean letting go of all other goals and pursuing exclusively the development of that one habit.

Here’s an example of this from Robynn’s life:  For years she would place on her list of New Year’s Resolutions things like drinking 8 glasses of water, eating a certain amount of fruits and vegetables, not eating sweets, etc.  However, these were not the root of her eating and weight problem.  Focusing on them only delayed her dealing with the heart of the matter: her all-or-nothing mindset which prevented her from resetting after a mess-up.  Once she identified the problem (being able to “reset”), and put all her focus and energy on getting better at that one habit, it eventually resulted in huge gains.

Do you see how Robynn’s list went from being long (8 glasses of water, eating fruits/veggies, etc, etc.) to focusing on 1 thing, every day, and being committed to doing it well? Once she got the hang of it, she was seeing substantial results in her weight-loss and it never required her doing all the other little things that once filled her list. It is easy to write out a bunch of busy-work items, but they aren’t fixing the root of the problem. Consider utilizing the “edit” button and make some changes to your New Year’s Resolution by minimizing your goals and learning how to do them well.

Now it’s your turn…

Posse Discussion: What one habit it, if you had it, would give you a quantum (giant) leap in achieving your weight-loss goals? 

*If you haven’t started a posse group yet, we encourage you to use the “Posse Discussion” green questions/topics at the bottom of our posts to help facilitate your group discussions. If you don’t have a posse group, please join our group! All you have to do is share your answer by commenting at the bottom of this post!

The Peace Coaches

 

 

 

 

Click here for Day 3!