Peace with Myself

February 19, 2015February 19, 2015 | Robynn

Much of my life I spent not liking myself. I wouldn’t say that I hated myself, but there was always some aspect of myself I was trying to change. Have you ever had a remodeling project that just went on and on? I did. My remodeling project was me!

I tried to change everything from those things that I could change to those things that I couldn’t. (I always wished I was more funny and more articulate like some of my friends. Those are two qualities I really admire!) When it came to my overall peace level it was in the gutter. However, once Peace with Food came into the picture and I began living at peace, I soon realized that I could use those same principles to help me find peace with myself.

How about you? What is your peace level with yourself? If you were to rate yourself on a scale from 0-5 (5 being high and 0 being no peace at all) where would you fall? Do you like yourself? Do you accept yourself? Do you give yourself grace, knowing that you are a work in progress?

I have learned that having peace with myself is really important because when I wasn’t at peace with myself, I wasn’t at peace with others or the world around me.

It was a process that is continuing to this day and it looked something like this:

First, I had to understand that I am a masterpiece, uniquely created, a one-of a kind. I am Designed to be a “10”.

Secondly, I began to the process of knowing myself. This involved taking the time to find out about my personality, strengths, weaknesses, preferences, and tendencies.

Third, once I began accepting myself as is, it was then time to begin working on my expectations of myself. Too often my expectations were jaded and unrealistic. At times I had an all-or-nothing mindset and other times I didn’t expect enough of myself.

I overcame these unrealistic expectations by creating Optimal Zones in my life – boundary lines that not only include giving myself grace, but also boundary lines that include realistic expectations. This zone consists of an acceptable range – the minimum requirement – all the way up to the ideal standard. As long as I hit the acceptable range I know I am in the ballpark. It may not be my ideal and I may strive to do better the next time around, but I know that I at least hit the Optimal Zone.

And finally, I began to follow peace and the best way for me to follow peace was to rate my peace on a regular basis and then choose the options that gave me the greatest #peace.

Here’s the condensed version:

Understand and believe that I am a masterpiece.
Know myself.
Begin creating realistic expectations by determining my Optimal Zones.
Follow peace.

This is the path I followed to having peace with myself. I hope it helps you in your journey to peace with yourself.

Take-Home Message: We can have peace with our self.

Making it Through Valentine’s Day

February 12, 2015February 11, 2015 | Robynn

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, and although Valentine’s may not pose the same kind of weight-maintenance hazards that the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays do, they still can be tempting, especially if you love chocolate or if you like to celebrate this special day in some way that includes food.

So, for this reason, I thought I would share with you my Valentine’s Day policy. Although I wouldn’t consider V-Day a big temptation, there are a few things that could trip me up if I wasn’t careful. For starters, Dove Chocolates wrapped up in that enticing pink and silver wrapping. Yum! Even though I am not a big chocolate lover, these were the only sweets that sounded good during my pregnancy with my oldest daughter. I now eat them every February for memories sake.

Another temptation for me is candy from my kid’s Valentine’s Day party. Yes, I am one of those parents who likes to help myself to their candy windfall. I love candy!

And lastly, my daughter’s birthday party complete with the meal of her choice and her double layer chocolate birthday cake. But out of all those, I think the thing most challenging about this holiday is the lingering candy that can stick around for days if I let it.

Hence, the reason I created my own Valentine’s Policy:

I call it my 24-hour policy.

Here it is: Candy can only be in my house for 24 hours. Then it has to take a hike. Whether that be to give it away, or throw it away, it has to go. (By the way, this policy also works great for Halloween!)

So, yes, I enjoy the day with all the special events that accompany it, but once that 24-hour period passes, it is time to get back to normal eating.

Once you know your boundaries, you can also create your own Valentine’s Day policy. Or Thanksgiving Day policy. Or 4th of July Party policy . . . Or any other event that proves to be an eating challenge.

So don’t let these special days and events steal your peace or your enjoyment. Create your own policies based on your boundaries! And have a wonderful Valentine’s Day!!

Take Home Message: Create your own policies based on your boundaries!

Boundaries Versus Rules

February 5, 2015February 5, 2015 | Robynn

We’ve said that we don’t like rules when it comes to weight loss. Rules regarding what to eat, how to exercise, and the scale. But just because we don’t like rules doesn’t mean we don’t have boundaries. We do.

Maybe you’re wondering what the difference is between a rule and a boundary. Here’s our definition of the two:

Rules are dictated by others (or ourselves) due to preference or the way one thinks something should be done.

Boundaries, on the other hand are predetermined, based on your strengths, weaknesses and circumstances.

Your boundaries regarding how you eat, exercise, and approach the scale and your body are pre-set, just like a piece of property you purchase. You don’t get to determine where the boundary lines are. Instead, you just find out where the boundaries are so that you can stay within them. The same holds true for you regarding Peace with Food.

Your boundary lines are predetermined by your strengths, your weaknesses, your vulnerabilities, and your tendencies. Once you know yourself in these categories and use wisdom, you will see your boundary lines very clearly, drawn up for you right before your very eyes.

For example, I know that having bag fulls of chips and packages of cookies and pastries in my pantry would lead to temptation, so I just choose not to have them in my house. If there is ever an occasion for chips such as a BBQ, I am not against having them, but once that BBQ is over, I don’t want them hanging around.

There are other snacks I like a lot, such as vanilla ice-cream but that don’t tempt me. Because I am not tempted to indulge in it, having it in the freezer is within my boundaries.

I also know that if don’t allow myself to indulge every now and again, I am setting myself up for disaster. So my boundaries include opportunities to indulge and enjoy food on special occasions, or when I am feeling the need. I am not talking about a total binge. That never gives me peace and always leaves me feeling free.

Do you see how my temptations and tendencies determined the boundaries for me? And you can do the same. It all comes back to knowing yourself. Once you do you will find that your boundaries are very clear. Stay within those boundaries and they will guide you to peace.

Take home message: Determine your boundaries and then make plans to stay within them.

Designed to Be a “10”

December 21, 2014January 11, 2015 | Robynn

Let’s start off with a question.

If you were to rate your value on a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being high) what number would you give yourself?

Be honest. What would your number really be?

If you answered anything other than a “10”, than pull up a chair, get comfy and let’s talk. Let’s talk about something very important – your value.

Why is this so important? Well, for one, I don’t know how you can live at Peace with Food, be happy, and live your best life ever without it.

Let me explain.

As a former high school science teacher I loved working with kids and still do. One way I have stayed involved with them is to periodically give inspirational talks to junior high students all the way up to college-aged kids. The title of my talk is Designed to Be a “10”.

In this inspirational talk, I use a $10 bill as an analogy for their life and my props are two $10 bills. One is tattered, torn, and written on, while the other is clean and crisp. My question to them is this:

Which of these $10 bills is worth more money?

This question always catches them off guard. Not sure what I am getting at, they carefully reply with a half-answer, half question, “They both are worth the same amount?”

Bingo.

They are both worth $10.

Those $10 bills are a beautiful picture of our lives. Some of us resemble that tattered and torn $10 bill. We’ve been ripped, stepped on, and have a past that is not pretty. And some of us have lives that rememble the clean and crisp $10 bill. It looks pristine, hasn’t seen much trouble, and appears to be perfect. But regardless which $10 bill we are most like, our worth is a “10”. Yes, I will even take it as far as saying a perfect “10”.

No. I’m not saying our behavior is a perfect “10”. There is no one who falls in that category, no matter how good you are, but as for your value, it’s a perfect “10”.

How can I make such a bold statement?

Here’s how. As a person of faith, who believes that we have all been made in the image of an incredible God, a God who is a perfect “10”, how can our worth be anything less?

Behavor less than a “10”? Yes.

Value and worth anything less than a “10”? No.

So, no matter where you’ve been, what you’ve done, what has been done to you, or any other event that attempts to extort your view of yourself remember this: Your value is a perfect “10”.

And you can take that to the bank. 🙂

Take-Home Message:

Your value is a perfect “10”.

For further information on the Designed to Be a “10” workbook and answer guide click here.

This is My Story . . .

November 17, 2014January 10, 2015 | Robynn

We all have a story that defines who we are.

In this story are woven the threads of our dreams, hopes, fears, disappointments, circumstances, and our past – uniquely making us a one-of-a-kind masterpiece.

Part of my story includes my struggle with food beginning in high school. I vividly remember weighing in at 98 lbs. during gymnastics in junior high. But by the end of my sophomore year of high school I was up to 143 lbs – a whopping 45-lb. weight gain on my 5’4 medium size frame. I had to do something and I had to do it fast!

That was when I began my career of dieting.

Being athletic and participating in a whole lot of sports and activities allowed me to get back down to a normal weight but I was never quite satisfied with my body. This led to the perpetual chase of the “ideal weight” carrot. Know what I’m talking about? It is crazy, but that is how I lived for so many years of my life.

It was my normal, my landscape.

But I can actually say that it all changed when I began living with peace with food. That is not to say I don’t have an ideal weight, because I do, but this time it is more of an optimal weight range than an unrealistic all-time-low number. No more of this all-or-nothing mindset. Enough of the obsession!

How did I get this peace? Here it is in a nutshell. I began believing that I could do it and I changed the way I thought about my situation. That was step one. It was a big step that took me years. But even in believing that I could have peace with food (and peace with my body) didn’t result in it magically appearing. After years of failed attempts, saying I was frustrated with my situation is putting it mildly. I needed practical steps to take and the skills to carry it out. I needed to find the answer to my dilemma, the combination to the lock. Enter Peace with Food.

As I began writing on this blog I really had to ask myself, “What is my purpose for this blog? Is it to inspire, motivate, entertain?” I think it can be all of these, but more than that, I feel a calling to help others in their journey to Peace with Food. That’s my mission, my assignment – to share with others what I have learned in the decades I’ve spent struggling with food and help them experience peace and freedom.

When I was in college, my Biochem instructor would always say in his Indian accent, “Take-home-message.” We knew that when he uttered these three choppy words we needed to take note because the point he was about to make was of utmost importance. That is what Lara and I hope to leave in every post. A take-home message. A nugget that will help you live at greater Peace with Food.

So here’s the Take-Home Message:

No matter what your story is, you can have Peace with Food. No matter what your beginning is, you can rewrite the end.

P. S. Click here for Lara’s Story. . .