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Day 25 – 1% Change {90-Day Challenge} Peaceful Mind
Life is a series of steps. Things are done gradually. Once in a while there is a giant step, but most of the time we are taking small, seemingly insignificant steps on the stairway of life.
~Ralph Ransom
Ugh!! Have a knee injury so I am not working out. 😦
That is a FrOwN-y FaCe because I really like working out. It really makes me food good in sooo many ways.
But on the BriGhT SiDe, I have been eating well. 🙂
The meals, at the conference I’m at, have been buffet style, so I have been going for fruits, vegetables, and protein. Because I am coming off of a couple of rough eating days and want to get right back on track, I am staying away from eating a lot of carbs. That’s okay, because turns out they are Mr. Right-There foods anyway, so I don’t mind passing on them. If I did have sweets calling my name, I would plan for them (I may have a donut from Dunkin’ Donuts tomorrow in the airport), but SuRpRiSe, SuRpRiSe!! this girl who loves sweets is not desiring them! That is a testament to giving myself permission to eat whatever I want as long as it gives peace. This took me a lot of practice, but I am finally starting to nail it.
This CoNcEpT is HuGe. I really don’t have out-of-control urges for food anymore because I never feel like I have a mental stock-pile of foods that I am craving, or planning to binge on,
I’ve learned that porking out, for the most part, was due to cause and effect – denying myself of the food I loved resulting in spiraling out of control.
MiRaCuLoUsLy, when I began to give myself the foods I desired (in a controlled manner that gave peace) the effect was satisfaction, closure, and peace.
No more food fantasies! I love it that my mind is not obsessed with thoughts of foods!
Ahhhh, finally a PeAcEfUL MiNd!
Hashtag to self: #peacefulmind
P.S. You are seeing a snapshot of my life taken earlier this summer. For the previous post in this series click HERE. For the next post in this series click HERE.
Boundaries Versus Rules
We’ve said that we don’t like rules when it comes to weight loss. Rules regarding what to eat, how to exercise, and the scale. But just because we don’t like rules doesn’t mean we don’t have boundaries. We do.
Maybe you’re wondering what the difference is between a rule and a boundary. Here’s our definition of the two:
Rules are dictated by others (or ourselves) due to preference or the way one thinks something should be done.
Boundaries, on the other hand are predetermined, based on your strengths, weaknesses and circumstances.
Your boundaries regarding how you eat, exercise, and approach the scale and your body are pre-set, just like a piece of property you purchase. You don’t get to determine where the boundary lines are. Instead, you just find out where the boundaries are so that you can stay within them. The same holds true for you regarding Peace with Food.
Your boundary lines are predetermined by your strengths, your weaknesses, your vulnerabilities, and your tendencies. Once you know yourself in these categories and use wisdom, you will see your boundary lines very clearly, drawn up for you right before your very eyes.
For example, I know that having bag fulls of chips and packages of cookies and pastries in my pantry would lead to temptation, so I just choose not to have them in my house. If there is ever an occasion for chips such as a BBQ, I am not against having them, but once that BBQ is over, I don’t want them hanging around.
There are other snacks I like a lot, such as vanilla ice-cream but that don’t tempt me. Because I am not tempted to indulge in it, having it in the freezer is within my boundaries.
I also know that if don’t allow myself to indulge every now and again, I am setting myself up for disaster. So my boundaries include opportunities to indulge and enjoy food on special occasions, or when I am feeling the need. I am not talking about a total binge. That never gives me peace and always leaves me feeling free.
Do you see how my temptations and tendencies determined the boundaries for me? And you can do the same. It all comes back to knowing yourself. Once you do you will find that your boundaries are very clear. Stay within those boundaries and they will guide you to peace.
Take home message: Determine your boundaries and then make plans to stay within them.
Hit “Reset”
Today I wanted to pass along something that has been helpful to our family, but also when applied to Peace with Food. The other morning I was fixing Leanne’s hair. She didn’t like it and quickly combed out the braid I had just spent 10-minutes fixing. It upset me because I had worked hard on it and we were running out of time before the bus came. I told her she would have to figure out how to fix her hair on her own and walked into the other room, upset (probably not the best of parenting!). To my surprise she walked after me and asked,
“Mom, can we start over?”
I replied, “Sure!” She stuck out her hand and we shook on it.
She smiled.
In a cheery voice I asked her how I could help her get ready for school, and off we went. It was as if the short moment of frustration never happened.
The same applies to food. We can have days where we get off on the wrong foot with our eating or make a choice that we regret later because we are stuffed from overeating. Instead of throwing your hands up in defeat for the rest of the day, causing you to turn to even more food, opt for choosing to Reset. Hitting Reset allows you to erase what happened and continue on as if you were having a good eating day.
Are you going to make good eating choices if you already feel like you’ve failed for the day? Probably not. But instead of waiting for tomorrow to start over (which is what I always did in the past!) why not begin at the very moment you realized you got off track. Recognize what happened, hit reset, and start fresh. Think of all the calories and suffering you will be eliminating by using this tool to your advantage. Try it the next time you get of course and let us know if it helped!
Why Diets Don’t Work: Reason #6
Reason #6: Diets Love Rules – Rules That You Just Can’t Keep!
One thing we don’t like is rules. Now, don’t get us wrong, we are not talking about rules instituted by those in authority in an effort to maintain order and ensure that things are running smoothly. Schools, workplaces, and the like need rules to operate. Without them there would be chaos. We are former teachers, so we get that.
Instead, the rules we are talking about are man-made rules that people enforce on others due to preference or how they think people should live their lives. Rules about the way you should dress. Rules about the way you should raise your kids. Rules about how you should eat.
And that is exactly what diets do. They impose upon you what you are to eat, when you are to eat, where you are to eat, you name it. If it has anything to do with food (and maybe even exercise) they have a rule for you!
Rather than enforcing rules, Peace with Food is based on principles – timeless truths that are true for all people at all times. These principles govern the world we live in. And whether we like them or not, they rule supreme.
An example would be the law of sowing and reaping. We learned early in our Peace with Food journey that when we plant the seeds of depriving ourselves of the food we love, we will eventually reap those seeds back in the form of a binge. We also learned that not having appropriate boundaries results in overeating and weight gain.
Not rocket science, just cause – effect.
So, if you’re like us and are tired of rules, come join us at living with peace.
Life’s a whole lot better, we found, when we pitched the rules and began living by principles!
Take-Home Message:
Living by principles will bring you peace.
Why Diets Don’t Work: Reason #3
Reason #3: Diets don’t last.
Let’s admit it. Diets are horrible at giving us a plan that will keep us in the game for life. Sure, we may be able to stick to a diet for a few months, but even if we do, it never sticks because we get tired of the control it has over our lives. Remember the popcorn and water diet that Lara went on in college to lose a few pounds? A week later she threw her hands up in defeat because the diet actually caused her to GAIN weight! That’s right, gain! And when this happens don’t you want to scream, “So forget it!” and turn to food out of frustration? There it is, another diet that didn’t last…
Or how about those times you were 100% committed–you were diligent with your workouts, healthy eating, and calorie tracking, and you were able to shed a significant amount of weight. Life was good in regards to dropping pounds, but then what happened? If you are anything like us, you were ready to start having a “normal” life once you lost the weight, but once you got there, you had no idea how to do it. It left you at at a dead-end.
Diets don’t give you the tools to succeed, they just give you the quick fix to lose the weight, leaving you empty-handed, LOST, on how to maintain the weight for life.
So, if diets have no staying power, no ability to keep us in the game, how can we win at a game we are not playing?
We can’t.
Time for a new game plan.
Something we can do for life. And something that we can be happy about doing. That’s Peace with Food.
Are you ready to let go of dieting and try something you can do for life? Reclaim your life and get back in the game!
Take-Home Message:
Peace with Food is something you can do for life and it is also something that will give you peace and happiness.
Peace with Food 