Getting Real

Compliment Etiquette

| Lara

How do you respond when someone gives you a compliment?  Do you shrug your shoulders, shake your head, start laughing, or just deny that the compliment is true?  Have you ever given someone a compliment who responded in this way?  How did it make you feel? 

When I was a camp counselor in college, people would compliment my singing talent quite often.  I never made a big deal about it, and come to think of it, at times I don’t even think I said “thank you.” It probably sounded more like “Oh. Well, I had a good music teacher.” It wasn’t until someone called me out on it that I realized how my responses were rude to the person giving them, let alone to myself and God!

Being HuMbLe is a quality that God wants us to possess, but being COURTEOUS in our response is also important.  If someone gives us a compliment, whether we agree with them or not, we need to be kind in our reply.  A simple “Thank you” will do, allowing you to be a gracious and humble receiver.

Some people don’t accept compliments well because they don’t like to be in the spotlight.  If that is the case for you, remember that all of our talents or successes in life are because God blessed us with them.  He gives each of us a talent whether it is a quality singing voice, a warming smile, or being a good listener.  By saying “THANK YOU” not only does it show appreciation to the person giving the compliment, but also thanks God for the wonderful qualities he has given us!

Next time someone says something N I C E try responding with confidence and appreciation!  It will not only make you feel better but will encourage others to continue sharing a good word!

Your Lara

Goodbye Joneses! Hello Freedom!

| Lara

So here’s the truth: I have never considered myself to be a very good writer.  When I first started blogging and writing 4+ years ago it was easy to give up because of the following thoughts:  What if people think my posts are horrible?  What if someone thinks I’m not very SmArT? What if someone doesn’t like my writing style?

Although writing is a bit out of my CoMFOrT zone, I know I’m never going to be a good writer unless I work at it and have someone critique me.  Society influences make us think we need to be perfect, but look how many of these thoughts keep us from doing what we really want to do?

For example, let’s say you were feeling the need to be on a budget with your finances. For a moment you considered taking a deeper look at your current situation but then, after a few minutes, you talked yourself out of it. The thoughts in your head sounded something like this: “What if I traded in my new car for something older and used that money to pay off my credit cards?  Forget it…I can’t bear looking silly driving a car that is more than 5 years old!”  Sound familiar?

You’ve probably heard the quote ‘what would you do if you knew you could not fail?’  So many of the reasons why we never attempt to answer that question is because we are worried about what everyone else thinks. But what does it really matter what others think?  Can you really call the people who don’t support you, “F R I E N D S“?  Why surround yourself with people who aren’t going to encourage and support you in doing what is best for YOU?  This is YOUR LIFE. You have the power to choose how you want to live it.  Don’t give in to society.  Follow what is in your heart.

So whatever life change you want to make (drastic or not), remind yourself of WHY you are doing it.  Don’t live in misery because of what everyone else thinks. Don’t limit yourself on the things you want to accomplish because the Joneses are standing on your doorstep. I’ve been there too.  It’s okay.  It’s normal.  Acknowledge this challenge and ChAnGe your way of thinking by taking control of your life. Get excited about feeling F R E E and the rest will come.  Trust me. 🙂

Your Lara

*By the way, this is a  picture of me and my daughter when she was a little girl . #myheartismelting

F R E E D O M is F U N!

I’m Not Going There

| Lara

I’m pulling this post out the archives because I needed this reminder. Thought I would share in case you did too…

I got up this morning with a mission to help my daughter.  For homework, she was asked to gather pictures of herself which capture her favorite things.  As I began skimming through files of photos on my computer, you would have thought I was spending most of my time smiling and reminiscing about the past.  To my surprise, recalling those days caused me to feel like I was failing as a MOM.

You see, after I had my first daughter, seven years ago, I did a great job taking lots of pictures and getting them into a scrapbook in a timely matter.  As life got more hectic and our family grew, I didn’t capture the same moments by photograph with my other two kids—probably because I usually had one kid on my hip and a basket of laundry in the other.

The reality is, life will always be hectic and I CaN’t Do iT ALL.  As soon as I had those sunken feelings this morning I could see how this day was going to pan out—feeling guilty ALL day about the numerous things I should be doing better.  Like how I should plan meals ahead of time instead of pulling meat from the freezer at 4:59 every afternoon…or logging our monthly expenses in a spreadsheet every month instead of staring at a pile of receipts from the last 11 months. The list is never-ending, isn’t it?

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Instead, as soon as my daughter left for school, I shut those feelings down by thinking to myself, “I’m not going there”.  I’m not going to spend the entire day beating myself up about my areas of weakness as a mother (or the other roles I play).  To help, I tried to imagine what our seven-month-old would say to me when he becomes an adult.  If he knew how terrible I felt for not taking pictures of his sweet feet when he was only a few days old, he would say, “Mom….really?  That’s what you’re worried about?  It’s not a big deal. Really.”  And then he would go on to remind me how I would play tractors with him on the living room floor and  spontaneously make him a farmyard out of old oatmeal containers and cereal boxes.  Ahh…thank you, my sweet kiddos, for loving me for my imperfect self.  And Leanne, make sure you remember this if you become a Mom some day. Don’t be so hard on yourself 🙂

So if this is you today, pick yourself up and start focusing on the things you do well.  You simply can’t do it all.  Don’t let special moments (like scanning through years of pictures and reflecting on the past with your kids) pass you by because you are beating yourself up, wishing you’d done better.

From one parent to another, I think you are doing just fine 😉

Your Lara

When It Matters Most

| Lara

Calories.
Paying your bills.
One-on-one time with kids.
Saying sorry.

There is one similarity between these things: they all matter. Sure, we can delay these things, but sometimes timing is everything. If your kid comes crying home from school, stopping to listen and comfort her is crucial at that very moment, when it matters most. If you wait 15 minutes the moment would pass, and she may change her mind about sharing her feelings.

Let’s apply this to food. What I eat for lunch during the week is what I call a “non-eventful meal”.  This usually consists of eating with my kids, which means making sandwiches….but without the crust…unless it is for Leanne…then it is with the crust…but without the cheese. LOTS of distractions. You get the picture 😉 I choose to eat salad, a protein shake, or something light, so I can utilize my “extra” calories for moments that matter more, such as later in the evening when my husband decides to cook one of his savory meals. Saving my calories for a meal I am anticipating–good food, relaxing atmosphere, cherishing every bite, fun conversation–that matters most to me.

There are numerous decisions and actions we need to accomplish each day. Many of them can be more meaningful if we are strategic about the value and time we place on them. What moments matter most to you?

Is it being fully present when your loved one comes home from work?
Is it putting your phone in the trunk of the car so you can be free from distraction when driving?
Is it exercising first thing in the morning so you feel better about yourself all day long?
Is it setting the DVR to record your favorite show so you can fast-forward through the advertisements, utilizing that extra time with family?

What moments matter most to you? How are you utilizing those moments? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Your Lara

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