aha moment – Peace with Food

On our Peace with Food journey we have had many “Aha” moments, to be sure, and this is definitely one of them. We call it our Optimal Zone epiphany. This revelation has totally changed the way we approach goal setting, along with the expectations we place on people, circumstances, and ourselves.

Before PWF we were really all-or-nothing type of gals. We saw only one way of doing things and there was only ONE right answer. Never two, and for sure not three or four. But on our PWF journey we slowly began to learn that this mindset only stole our peace. We were setting our goals high. Really, really high and rarely ever achieving those goals. The result: Frustration with a capital “F”.

What did we need? Not a new goal, just a new perspective.

Enter the Optimal Zone.

The Optimal Zone is basically a zone that includes your acceptable level of satisfaction, in any area of life, all the way up to your ideal level of satisfaction in that area. If you applied the Optimal Zone to your weight, instead of just choosing one number that is ideal, you would include a range, say 125-132. Sure, 125 lbs. may be your dream weight, but surely there is a zone where you feel good, even if it isn’t your ideal. Having an Optimal Zone allows you to experience victory, even if you don’t hit the mark perfectly each time.

Determining our Optimal Zone has helped ground us even when things don’t go perfectly. It takes off the pressure and let’s us focus on living, not trying to live up to a certain standard that just so happens to be impossible to reach on a consistent basis.

A bonus of the Optimal Zone is that it is relevant to every area of our lives. We all have expectations, many of those are unrealistic. Whether it be in relationships, our job, our finances, you name it. When you determine your Optimal Zone in each area you can then give yourself and others a break and enjoy the ride instead of being stressed by it.

Go ahead and set your goals high, but then have an acceptable range. Maybe reading to your child for 30 minutes every day isn’t always possible, but reading a story to them and tucking them in to bed might be more attainable day in and day out.

Assess your expectations, especially the ones where you feel disappointed or discouraged and determine what the Optimal Zone might be for each of them. We think that when you begin to live in these zones, you’ll be pleasantly surprised to see that the pressure level goes down and the enjoyment and peace level goes up.

Take-Home Message: Create Optimal Zones in your life by defining the acceptable level in each area all the way up to the ideal level.

Have you ever had foods that you just couldn’t get out of your mind? Foods that had a hold on you and controlled you?

Been there.

For years it seemed that I was tormented by my favorite sweets. Cookie dough, dessert bars, and other confections were my downfall. I just loved them. But they controlled me and I hated that.

Then one day, I had a breakthrough moment. It was an Aha Moment for me and the beginning of learning the skill of disarming the foods that controlled me. Let me share with you the secret I discovered.

At the time I was on a date ball kick. I think I had seen someone on the Food Network make them and was hooked. In case you’ve never had date balls, I’ll describe them. They are this gooey sweet treat made with melted butter, sugar, candies dates, pecans, and rice crispies. Because you make this confection on the stove and not in the oven they are accessible throughout the preparation and cooking time.

So there I stood at the stove, with a pan full of gooey-ness and easy access. Of course I was taste testing the entire time. My experience was similar to Lara’s in Bite #1 vs Bite 21: Bite #1: AWESOME! Bite #2: YUM . . . need I say more? But by Bite #10 (or probably even before that) I should have been finished, but I just couldn’t stop.

This scenario was played out too many times to count, but on this particular day I had had enough. I literally said out loud, “Date balls you will not defeat me! I will defeat you!!!” It was game on.

Right then and there I came up with a plan to get victory over these date balls. Instead of making the full recipe I cut it down to a fraction of the original recipe. I did this by deciding how many points (Weight Watchers) I wanted to consume and then made only that amount. Let me tell ya, it worked like a charm.

The next time date balls called my name I was able to make them, eat them all, and do it all guilt-free. I got closure, met a need, and best of all won a victory.

So, why not try it out? Next time you are faced with temptation try cutting it down to a portion that is moderate and will give you peace. With enough practice you will begin developing new habits and perfecting the skill of disarming the foods that control you.

Posse Discussion:

Part 1: Name one food item that controls you
Part 2: Rate your current level #peace with that food item (see Peace Chart below)
Part 3: Describe how you can disarm that food item (make a smaller batch, order a kid-sized meal, split a meal with someone, etc)